Ouch's fearsome Bitch eats famous disabled people for breakfast. And then spits them out again. She tackles other controversial disability topics with all the subtlety of a hammer cracking a nut. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Disability Bitch hates the Queen
1st April 2010
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Readers, my name is Disability Bitch. Therefore it should come as no surprise that I am a whingeing cripple. However, this week I am taking my common-or-garden griping to a whole new level. Having bigged up Prince Harry last week, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I HATE THE QUEEN!
I realise that when someone made a similar statement in France several hundred years ago there was some kind of revolution and a bunch of toffs had their heads chopped off. I'm not necessarily advocating the guillotine, but I am angry. Seriously angry.
However, there was a problem: reaching the dizzy heights of the podium involves traversing dozens of 'theatrical' steep steps and officials were worried they would prove too much for the 83 year old monarch and her 88 year old hubby. Concerned organisers suggested a number of options that would avoid the stairs altogether - accessible, step free routes if you like.
Well, I'm disappointed. Clearly the Queen doesn't know how difficult it is to persuade people to make reasonable adjustments if you have mobility difficulties. And when they're offered to her, she denies the notion that she's disabled, or even would appreciate an easy-access route!
Readers, I want to know, what will it take for one of our leaders to acknowledge they are - perhaps - a little bit disabled? Surely they don't think it's a negative attribute?! As far as I'm concerned, it's a vote-winning strategy - after all there are an estimated 11 million of us in the UK.
Nick Clegg, do you have a gammy foot? This could be your moment. David Cameron, do you have an old rugby injury that troubles you from time to time? Tell us! Gordon Brown... Oh, Gordon, count the number of usable eyes you have and say it aloud. Please.
Honestly, disabled people, we could change the course of history this election. And it starts with an 'x'.
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