Ouch's fearsome Bitch eats famous disabled people for breakfast. And then spits them out again. She tackles other controversial disability topics with all the subtlety of a hammer cracking a nut. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Disability Bitch hates 'awareness'
14th October 2009
DB looks to Alastair Campbell for PR inspiration
It turned out the reportage was inspired by an an autism-specific charity who have launched a new campaign about that one impairment group. Lest they think I'm picking on them - I'm not, I'm really, really not - almost every impairment group, no matter how obscure, usually ends up with its own campaign or awareness day, week, or hour, during which news desks are deluged with press releases and journalists with nothing better to write about, spend five whole minutes being 'aware' of a certain impairment before moving on to the next one.
My complaint, readers, is that despite all this awareness-mongering among the unwashed masses, discrimination against disabled people still exists. I hate to break it to you, but disability is not a secret. The world at large is very aware of us. And still we are discriminated against. Oh dear.
Readers, I'm volunteering to help us out. Yes, like Alastair Campbell but different, I intend to become the first hard-bitten disability focused spin doctor this world has ever seen, and I'm going to work on behalf of disabled people everywhere.
I don't blinkin' want the world to be 'aware' of every nuance my impairment likes to dump on me. Christ alive, if employers knew everything there was to know about how screwed up I really am, I doubt anyone would dream of giving me a job, and all the charity campaigns in all the world wouldn't be able to help me. So I'm taking a new approach. Readers, I intend to start carefully worded yet partially truthful rumours about disabled people; rumours that will make people want to employ us and engage with us as human beings. Think of it as viral marketing for disableds.
... oh yeah, and I'm gonna spread it that disabled people are really really good in bed as well but that's just a side interest that I won't bother you with.
Once people have it in their heads that we're good solid employees with built-in experience rather than whinging scrounging drains on resources who threaten to sue at every opportunity, we'll be able to milk disability to our advantage. Enough with these single issue general awareness campaigns targeted at no one in particular. They're pointless. You'll thank me when the job offers come rolling in.
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