Ouch's fearsome Bitch eats famous disabled people for breakfast. And then spits them out again. She tackles other controversial disability topics with all the subtlety of a hammer cracking a nut. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Disability Bitch changes society
21st July 2010
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Oh, readers! This week I'm a little over-excited. See, fresh from announcing changes to the benefit system and the NHS, our enthusiastic young government has this week announced a radical overhaul to society itself. Thank God.
Well, now our honourable leader, David Cameron, has launched Big Society, in which men and women on the street - that's us! - will get to shape services for their local community, such as - and I quote - post offices, libraries, transport and housing projects. Yippee!
The thing is, while everything from disability benefits to civil service pay is being squeezed due to the massive debt this country is in, the Big Society is being funded by lots of money which seems to have been found from dormant bank accounts. I snorted doughnut through my nose!!
... Excuse me while I interrupt this column for a little announcement: Are you someone with several thousand pounds in a bank which you have forgotten about? Are you now scrambling to find your account details before your moolah gets hoovered up by the government to pay for community schemes? Just let me say, I'm quite happy to do you a deal. I'll take some of that money off your hands. I'll make sure your old account, weighed down as it might be by the weight of your unspent coins, is no longer dormant. I'll help you spend some of that burdensome balance. Let's have a chat. Now back to the normal service for the continuation of this week's column. Thanks for listening ...
I will use all that forgotten cash to open services that non-disabled people can't access. There are plenty of buses and post offices me and my disabled chums can't use so this is reverse discrimination and will change society massively. And, of course, it'll give me a purpose in life. Ya know, something to get up for, just like Dave says.
Oh, quick safety message: if you're using Facebook, beware people masquerading as members of The Goodies.
Putting my serious head on for a second, when you become my friend please do take a look at the recent note I've posted on Facebook about, how can I put this, people who might be attracted to you simply because you are disabled. They exist. Be safe.
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