A sporting Wiiality

As a non-disabled child, I think I used to enjoy sports day because I would usually win one of the races. Looking at my now inflexible body, it’s amusing to think that at the age of 7, I had the prize-winning ability to walk on my hands while my friend lifted my legs and manoeuvred me like a human wheelbarrow. I have the proof - a pink cardboard certificate awarding me 1st place in class 3’s wheelbarrow race 1979.

A few months later, I became too unwell to take part in sports. There were no more school sports days and no more pink cardboard certificates for me. Strangely enough, my dislike of, and cynicism towards, sporting activities began around the same time. I equated them with yet another thing I could no longer do and to add insult to injury, having a sports fanatic father, I'd spend my weekends plonked in front of the TV watching everything from tennis to tiddly winks. But then the Wii games console came into my life.

I was introduced to this new fangled gaming system through an advert where a celebrity family took turns to move as if bowling an invisible ball towards the ten pins on their television screen. My initial reaction was the kind of response I’d normally expect from my parents, “Virtual bowling? Whatever next? Why don't they just cut out the middle man and go bowling in real life instead?”
I was used to traditional computer games where you sat for hours on end in front of a screen, killing things and remaining generally inactive. That appealed to my levels of mobility. The Wii on the other hand looked like a gaming system for people that could stand up, fling themselves around their living rooms and do things with their arms that I could only dream of. Without giving it a chance, I’d already decided that I didn’t like it.

One evening however, A friend came around, bringing with them a take away, a bottle of wine and a Wii. Within an hour, I was well fed, a little drunk and completely hooked.

Before we even began playing, my friend made me create a cartoon version of myself to represent Liz in the Wii world. My mini mii has the trademark black corkscrew curls, brown eyes and is short and slim. If only you could kit out your mii's with the appropriate disability aids then mine would be my identical tiny twin.

My fears that these games were unsuitable for anyone who qualified for disability living allowance were dispelled when I wheeled in front of the TV for my first ever attempt at virtual bowling. There was no heavy ball to negotiate, just a little, lightweight hand control that I could lift with ease. With just a quick flick of the controls in the direction of the television, I released the button and launched the ball towards the pins on screen. I knocked down five of them, the cartoon me jumped up and down in excitement and the real me was raring to have another go. Sports that I could never play in reality are now accessible to me in this Wii world. Bowling was just the beginning.

Next came tennis where, with a tiny racket and the slightest of moves, it was love all. Then I gave Tiger Woods a run for his money on the golf course with a few birdies, bogies and double bogies. I took hold of the bat and hit a home run in baseball. I ducked and dived in the boxing ring. I shot a few games of pool, became a champion at ping-pong and even raced on a knitted cow. My favourite sport, however, has to be fishing. Without having to go near water, of which I am terrified, or get my PA to bait my line with maggots, I sit in the comfort of my living room holding my handset and when it vibrates, I just reel it in. Last weekend, I caught a whopper but you should have seen the one that got away.

With this recent flurry of sporting activity, I now feel as though I’m a worthy contender for the virtual sports personality of the year 2009. Let’s just hope that if I win they remember to organise a virtual ramp.