The Cane & Ablepermalink
The Grumpy Suite
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Oscar the Grouch is my new best mate and together we have booked that horrible yukky roof suite (Harlequin) at the dreadful Dorchester forever so we can stay there indefinitely.
Any grumpy grouches are not welcome to join us there but come join us anyway. We won't be pleased about it, but thats cos we are determined to be grumpy. If you can promise to be grumpy as well then you shall be permitted access to the Grumpy Suite and you may stay there as long as you like...erm...don't like.
You may indulge in all the full amenities the suite has on offer but we do not expect you to enjoy them. In fact, anyone who appears to be enjoying himself or herself shall be promptly evicted from the suite.
Moans, rants, whinges, etc. are not only encouraged, but expected. Happy smilies are not permitted but you are allowed to express the following as needed
I should also remind you that the room service and personal attention given here is absolutely disgraceful and you won't like it one bit so feel free to moan, rant, and whinge about that as well.
Now Oscar and I must greet our other guests. Do have a
btw its bl***y horrible swill from some bloke named Dom Perignon. Never heard of him, mind you but its all free so drink up. 
ttfn
lets go Oscar -
My shoulders and neck are killing me, so I could become very grumpy indeed.
I must keep practising before I join you because I don't think I am quite at your level yet!
You could get a red wine ready for me if the room service is rubbish!This is a reply to this message.
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Can i join you? Having a bad IBS day. Been popping the buscopan and eventually it worked!! God it was unpleasent and i was grumpy!
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Oscar the Grouch and I would like to welcome Yvette and leg iron to the Grumpy Suite. Please stay as long as you wish because we have booked this suite indefinitely. There is no telling how long our grumpy grouchies will last so we thought it best to cover all possibilities.
I shall probably remain in a very grumpy state until sometime next spring so I plan to stay here in the Grumpy Suite for the long haul. At this very moment I am suffering (yes, suffering) from a headache again so I have just taken two aspirin and am going to bed.
Please remember that whilst you are here it is not permitted to show any signs of happiness whatever. Even the slightest hint of a smile shall be deemed punishable by immediate banishment from the Grumpy Suite. Please avail yourselves of any or all amenities offered here but do NOT enjoy them.
Do not have fun; we repeat; do NOT have fun.This is a reply to this message.
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Well I am feeling EXTREMELY grumpy at the moment. In fact I had a long rant about the ambulance service on talk before I found this thread. I am also grumpy about the ongoing fight with my local authority. I bashed my car wing the other day. My holiday got cancelled this year. I have got urgent biopsies on thursday. In fact I am as grumpy as grumpy can be.
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SuperhumanDiva, I sooo hope it all goes well for you on Thursday and you have good results.
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In fact I am as grumpy as grumpy can be.
You are definitely in the right thread then SuperhumanDiva. Please inform room service of whatever amenities you wish to partake, whether it be
etc. etc. etc.
perhaps you fancy listening to some soothing
? or something to read 
you need but ask and it shall be delivered to you promptly. Please remember that under no circumstances are you expected to show any gratitude for the services you request. The sole purpose of the Grumpy Suite is to provide a haven of grouchiness for anyone who needs a designated place to rant, moan, whinge, complain, etc. This is indeed that very place.
Oscar the Grouch (muppet) is the master of grumpiness but I have decided to follow his example and become a disciple of grouchdom.
p.s. to Yvette, just a gentle reminder that no smiling smilies are allowed here in the Grumpy Suite. We are only here to be as grouchy as we need to be; an Ultimate Grouchfest, if you will.
So, grouch on, peeps.
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*polite knock*
Bonjour Pandora. Sorry to hear you are feeling grouchy and not well - I hope you feel better soon.
All the best to everyone else in here, too.
I'm not stopping...
a) seeing you here in the C&A always pleases me
b) I went out last night and didn't get stood up (like I did last month...), so my friends and I had a very enjoyable evening.
You know where to find me if you feel like venturing outside the Suite, so I'll leave you and Oscar to each other's company...
*quietly withdraws*This is a reply to this message.
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aaarrgggghhhhhh Sasha, you brought not one but two, count them two big grins!!! Big grins here in the Grumpy Suite???
tsk tsk tsk
We are here to grumble, whinge, rant, moan, etc.
No big grins.
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Sasha, you brought not one but two, count them two big grins!!!
< laugh> Ahh - always good to see The Count
in action 
Sorry - I won't do it again - I'm leaving, honest...
*exits*This is a reply to this message.
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Sasha, you brought not one but two, count them two big grins!!!
always good to see The Count
in action
Thats exactly what I was thinking when I wrote that previous message. You are reading my mind again. Stop that.
It's no good you making me laugh like this. It completely ruins the whole aspect of having this Grumpy Suite. what are you like
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It's no good you making me laugh like this. It completely ruins the whole aspect of having this Grumpy Suite. what are you like
Sorry
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I had a bad night and am tired yet again.
My shoulders still hurt .
I have to carry the heavy vac pump around with me and it is in a shoulder bag which hurts my neck too. I have tried making it into a bum bag but the weight of it then hurts my back.
It is cold today too.
I feel fed up and grumpy!!!!This is a reply to this message.
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Its yet another bone chilling day and I had a very difficult time convincing myself to come out from under the duvet where I was feeling warm and cosy. However, Fuddy was having none of that. He miaowed and miaowed until I dragged out of bed...and then would you believe it...that persistent puss hopped up to a favourite spot and fell asleep straight away.
And here's me wide awake now and watching him 
I feel fed up and grumpy as well.
However, I must admit it gets a bit difficult to remain grumpy when Sasha pops in here for a visit. He always seems to know how to make me laugh despite my grumpiness. Watch out and be prepared cos he'll probably make you larf as well.
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just on my way to join you in the suite and I don't care if you like it or not
I hate that music. The newspaper selection does not contain my favourites
Might take a little effort for me to actually hate you fellow grr...ouchers though.
You are mostly a great bunch, which makes it hard to keep solidly grumpy. Whatever should we do with those who actually make us laugh ??This is a reply to this message.
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just on my way to join you in the suite and I don't care if you like it or not
Now that's the spirit!!! Well done you; however not too sure about your name though -- "broadgrin"
No matter, please join us for and
always available as well.
Whatever should we do with those who actually make us laugh??
That would be Sasha
and he is mostly harmless except for when you are reading his messages whilst eating or drinking because you may possibly spray food or drink over your computer screen or keyboard. Trust me, it happens.
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That would be Sasha
and he is mostly harmless
Nicely put, Pandora.
I don't even attempt to eat or drink while on the computer - it's dangerous enough as it is, what with lovely messages that take my breath away, posts that make me laugh out loud, and the ever-present risk of someone entering the room and making me jump...
While I'm here, I couldn't find a very good video of The Count but I found this instead... www.youtube.com/watc... Enjoy
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Nicely put, Pandora
Yes I thought you would like that.
lovely messages that take my breath away
oops, must dash
earworm alert!!
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Good news, but of course it won't make us happier. I found this website with photos of other grumpy people so I thought perhaps we could decorate the walls of our Grumpy Suite.
My hero Oscar the Grouch seems to have earned first place in Grouchdom.
grumpy-people.com/is...This is a reply to this message.
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And didn't this day start well......went out to pick up a few groceries; drove home and found my spot taken by the car of someone visiting one of my neighbours who lives upstairs. I waited in my car for a few minutes, hoping whoever it was would be leaving soon; not a chance. So after mumbling a few choice swear words, I decided to park my car directly behind the other car who had taken my spot.
I then carried my groceries inside and was in the process of unpacking them when --- surprise, surprise --- someone at my door. It was the upstairs neighbour who informed me that her visitors were ready to go and so would I come out and move my car which was, of course, 
blocking their car. I very sweetly 
replied that I would move my car when I had finished putting the groceries away as I had some items which needed to be in the fridge or freezer. So off goes the neighbour to deliver the message. Due to my mobility problems, "quickly" is never an option anyway, so I moved at the usual slow pace and then went out to move my car.
It really makes me when ABs think its ok to use designated disabled parking even if its "oh I'll just nip in for a moment, shan't be a tick....."
on second thoughts I wish I could have just used my car to push the other car out of the way.
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