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Spoons?
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What are they and have I got them? All I can think of is being able to stir something up.
I WANT A SPOON! Ha! Ha! Ha! -
www.butyoudontlooksi...
Spoon theory - we only have so many spoons as units of energy, either physical or mental, so spend them wisely !
This is also great, and is by one of our posters, Batsgirl.
batsgirl.blogspot.co...This is a reply to this message.
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I too wondered what spoons were, just forgot to ask you all. My memory is really rubbish nowadays!
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Thank you I have read both articles. I have my Tribunal on Tuesday which I am completely and utterly dreading because I am hopeless at explaining myself. But. I am going to have a go at the spoon theory, (to remember that theory in my head) when it comes for me to get my points across as I have many days in a row where I don't even have 1 spoon.
Thank you for explaining it to me, my eyes have been opened and I truly appreicate it.This is a reply to this message.
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Loo, I know this is late in the day regarding your appeal, but did you find someone to help you?
Benefitsandwork site has good information about DLA appeals, as has our own "Essential links for Help and Advice" thread.
You only stand to gain from your appeal as you got turned down flat, so it would be benficial to try practising your responses over the weekend.
But they need to be the correct responses
and honest too.
It may help if you have a look at what the "correct" responses are, and the correct dress code etc.
Remember stuff like, if you cant walk very far, then dont tell them you parked your car three hundred yards away and walked, get dropped off at the door. And if they give you the wrong type of seating and you are uncomfortable or in pain because of the seat, or the amount of time you are sitting in it, tell them.
And dont be brave. That gets you nowhere. Dont expect them to read the expression on your face, tell them if it is too hard, you are struggling to answer, you are confused, you need to move, stand up, etc.
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Look up the following link, as Linda also asked what spoons were (Tuesday on the Q & A board).
I posted a link to the explanation and also posted some other information you may find uselful.
www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/m...This is a reply to this message.
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Hello it's me again,
I can feel the rise of panic in me. When I get like this I can't think straight and I don't know how to get to the Essential Help and Advice thread. I typed it in the search thing above and I couldn't find it.
Also I'm panicking about what they will ask me and what do I have to wear and what am I suppose to be practising.
I've thought about what I should wear but I actually don't have any smart clothes because I don't get out. I thought I'd wear a skirt but then I found out I had no tights.
My head is hurting so much. Please don't see me as moaning its just i'm panicked by the whole thing and I feel out of my depth on this one and I don't know how to get around finding out the info. Please if you could spell it all out plainly for me I might just be able to grasp it.
Thank you and sorry for being so stupidThis is a reply to this message.
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www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/m...
About wearing clothes. Wear what you can dress yourself in easily. If you struggle with laces, wear slip ons. If you struggle to walk, wear flats. If you struggle with tights go bare legged. If you struggle with buttons dont do then up, or wear something easier.
Same thing applies to walking and sitting. If you cant do these things easily then dont try and make the effort. Get a wheelchair or someone to assist you. If you struggle with steps, use the ramps.
If you cant brush your hair, leave it unbrushed. If you need glasses wear them. If you cant do make-up leave it off.
They pretty much need to see you as you would be without help, or alternatively you have to say that you had help making yourself presentable.
Obviously you have to pick the things that are applicable to you.
If you strugle with stuff today, make a note of it. i.e. dropped the kettle making a cuppa, struggled to get out of bed, couldn't change the bedding, couldn't empty the washing mashine, couldn't hang out the clothes, had to have a lie down as the pain and exhaustion were bad.
Couldn't make lunch so had toast, tried to read a book but hands ached too much to turn the pages, wanted to go to church but had no-one to help you get ready and go, couldn't get a lift to church. etc, etc.
Have a look or print out the criteria (which are a bit old, but cover the main points) that are in post 2 of the thread link. See which are applicable to you and WHY, and write down how they are applicable.
Have a look at the benefitsand work site, it has articles about what happens and why at tribunals, and what to wear and what they will ask you.
Try and think of the tribunal as your opportunity to express just how you feel, remember they are people too, one will be a doctor and one will be a disabled person so they get a balanced view.
On the benefitsandwork site there is even stuff about what the tribunal people are expected to do, it might be in the news items or the help sections.
I'll be about later, so if you have any questions after you have had a look at these two places then maybe I or one of the others can help further.
Finally, you are not moaning. You need help and we are offering it. And at the end of all your trials you will be able to help others, so lean as hard as you want
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As Hossylass says, you must make notes of things to say and not just assume that they will immediately "know" or understand how things are for you.
For example, I always wear make-up when I go out - doctors appointments etc. because I hate the way I look without it and because my skin was ruined when I was on steroids for a year. I am paranoid about it.
I do now point out to consultants, when necessary, that even with applying pretty basic make-up, the getting dressed and ready to go out process takes me nearly two hours. Also that I have to know in advance what I am going to wear (otherwise I get flustered and my brain shuts down) and I need to allow for sitting down breaks.
Even for going out to a GP appointment my whole day seems to revolve around getting ready to go out and then recovering when I get back.
People who do not have to think twice about things like what to wear, or how to get dressed, do not realise how difficult it is for those of us who have to plan every move we make.
We may leave the house looking relatively "respectable" but at what cost to our daily spoons and how many hours has it taken us to achieve?
Ooooh, as to tights - haven't worn them for years now, can't stand the feel of them against my fibro skin even when not in flare-up mode.This is a reply to this message.
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Thats definately part of the problem with me.
One thing in your diary and life stops.
Today I managed, with help, to clean the glass door in my cooker, and part clean one of the shelves. Pathetic, but it was my only achievement today.
Yesterdays big achievement? I put frozen chopped onions, frozen chopped garlic, frozen chopped peppers, frozen chopped mushrooms, a carton of tomatoes, some mince and some oregano in the slow cooker. And I was pretty impressed with myself.
(Thats from someone who did up to 100 meals a day at one point
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Actually thats the only two things I've managed all week. I haven't even read a book this week as I cant seem to hold the damned things and be comfortable, every two minutes something starts to complain, so you move, then you cant hold the book, so you move again.... and so it goes on. I'm only on here now cos its too uncomfortable to lie down.
I feel like life is passing me by...This is a reply to this message.
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Spoon is derived from " spoon man " who happens to live in Seattle and starred in their famous song , " spoon man "
Spoons arre Spoon mans instruments of choice and therefore must at all times be " cleaned "
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Why try to remember the theory for your appeal when you are already stressed? If you have a printer, print it, if you can make notes, make them. If someone can make notes for you then get it written down! You will lose no "points" for referring to notes unless you claimed you cannot read. Just make sure that if anyone else did anything for you that you tell them you didn't do it yourself, or they will assume you did. "My carer wrote these notes for me". Yes, carer may be not very PC but they like to hear it because DLA is about getting and needing "care".
I assume it's DLA appeal, I haven't been following any other threads too well, but good luck. Steer clear of saying you do manage to do something but struggle, because they just don't like that. They are meant to ask how far can you walk without severe discomfort, but they kept asking me how far I could walk before I had to stop walking. I told them I want to stop walking often but I can't because I am in the middle of the road so I have to continue, or that there is in the real world NOT somewhere to sit down every time you are in pain from walking, so I do walk further than I can bear, I walk with the tears streaming down my face. Well, I didn't get anything. Not until I said "I never walk more than x metres and I have a wheelchair" did I get a penny.
They want to hear helpless, I am afraid. They don't want to hear strong, what you can force yourself to do through the desperate agony and to suffer consequences later, they want you to say "my carer helps me get dressed because the pain of dressing myself is too much". It puts many people into a vicious cycle because until they have care money they have no help so they must go on without care which means they must manage through the pain so DWP says "you are managing so it can't be as bad as you say" but they don't mind that if it saves money. </cynicism>
And if you might struggle with aspects of personal dignity (doesn't apply to everyone) then I think it's useful to practice out loud the invasive process of having to tell a total stranger about your bowels, anus or how you manage a catheter. This is a time to lay it all on the line, and you might need to spend some time in front of the mirror practicing how you are going to refer to your various parts so you don't chicken out through embarassment.
If you have an example of something specific you did because the pain of the alternative was too great those are very useful. Again, dignity out of the window, but if you wet yourself because you couldn't get your limbs out of bed fast enough, you were sick down your front because you were unable to get to your feet, etc. make sure you get those in. They are looking to find people able to walk if only they were sufficiently motivated, and this is a good exemplar that you had adequate motivation not to soil yourself but you still couldn't walk any faster.This is a reply to this message.
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WOW! Am I soooooooooooooo pleased I've found this place.
Today is the day before the Tribunal and I've spent the morning reading all the advice I've been offered and I feel so much better for it.
You know I'm gonna tell it how it is, for example yesterday I had zero energy it felt like my neck wasn't strong enough to hold my head up. I am gonna tell them all the gory yukky details of how this disability affects me on a daily basis. Out of the last 9 days I have only managed with help to get dressed once.
It's the thought of DWP paying Atos £54 million (I read that last night). It's all sinking in now. The cold hard bitter truth of a system that does not care for it's sick.
You see I have never until now faced the true reality of what I have to deal with on a daily basis until as part of my evidence, I wrote a 6 day diary. It made for depressing reading and it left me feeling very down. I admit I have been indenial and I have just confessed to my GP some of the things I have kept to myself for so long. BUT I have now said those words out loud and I am going to do my utmost to do it again tomorrow.
I'm sending you all hugs. A huge big weight has been lifted off me. I'm not on my own anymore - what better medicine could a person get than being around like minded people. Thank you.This is a reply to this message.
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