Ouch! Talkpermalink
Sex and the Disabled
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women.timesonline.co...
From today's Times...
I appreciate this hasbeen discussed before but an interesting article. I just hope something sensible comes out of it. -
Your preaching to the wrong crowd.
People here seem to think they are no difference than normal poeple , then bitch about it how no else sees them that way.
Sex dictates actions of almost the entire world, its the end result of almost any persuit for many and aspirations for others whether concious or not.
I dont what you mean by sensible , sex is an energy like emotion its not something rational for many , other than the thought involved in getting it.
Whether you get it or not sexual energy exists and does affect you greatly ,
To say that is not as important as food or othe material things is moot point when , if theres no quality of life , there is no reason to feed yourself or care any way.
And if sex isnt requirment or something that should be addressed , Id like to see the average person go 10- 50 yrs voluntarily without it .
Youd have world wide revolution / anger unlike any war if you banned or someohow prevented folk from sex , even nations with nothing , and no means to support it still do it on their death beds.
So you tell me how un-im[portant it is
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Eh? All Jack's done is posted an article from a newspaper. I don't exactly think he's calling for the whole world to become celibate,
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Thanks Jockice...no wonder some "newbies" feel its a little aggressive on here!
Dont want the world to be celibate...isnt the "big" question is if you cant facilite it yourself how much should the state "help" you?
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In Sweden they do, where it is written into care plans.
I think that it is encouraging that there are no revulsion comments yet on the Times page - there might be however by the time you read this thoughThis is a reply to this message.
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Wished 'sex' had been around in my teens.
Wouldn't have had to wear glasses and a wrist splint.
And my hairy palms wouldn't itch!
pete lmfThis is a reply to this message.
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sex with a beautiful person is only a lightswitch away!
I guess i have said how important this is, someone elabortaed on what i said and is correct - its the intimacy
most people need it, unless you are stone wall cold - some are, but everyone else.
its good that it is offered in the various ways for differing disabilities. i guess a lot cud be transfered to the mental ways too - the gentle ness, and even just not even using the sexual organs, just doing other stuff like the hands on the head etcThis is a reply to this message.
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Yes, intimacy is rare thing and comes in many forms, touch , conversation so on.. sex being a part of that too , though for the most part these days just used for sport / bragging rights and of course free housing
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People use sex for free housing...I'd better put my spare room to better use
(joking of course).
MattJ8This is a reply to this message.
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Isn’t ‘Solitaire’ a misnomer for the striptease artist? I was under the impression that lonely old disabled guys had to resort to solitaire; thus needing their sex lives spiced up!
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you could write fairytales about stuff like that.
new immigrants wanted for disabled sex - free rooms includedThis is a reply to this message.
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No idea,
But i always wonder how the game Twister came about , did someone really like that idea of having themselves forced to hold akward posiitions round other people of the same or different sex.
Maybe its just my dirt ol mind, but if your heads like 1 inch away from someones crotch youd imagine some pretty interesting scenarios should someone slip or fall.
Of course I never played the game myself , not exactly disability friendly when it comes to physical woes.
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People use sex for free housing..
lulz
yes, if you are born able bodied, and thus dont qualify for benefits that way, there is the alternate benefit which requires bedroom antics against the advice of year 6,7,8,9,10 and 11 biology / sex ed
they do this for securities
its just like someone appealing a desicion they thought as illness
"no i shudnot have to work i is ill"
then someone says "but u must, i cut ur benefit"
then they appeal and tribunal coz they not get enoug
its just the same for other people!
and yes, babies is their qualifiying means
but... they are reducing age, from 16 to 11 and then again to 7 soon
so its not such a carreer choice ne more
but for some sitll isThis is a reply to this message.
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Sex ? That was what my parents did to get my brothers.
Me ? I was found under the christmas tree
groan ...This is a reply to this message.
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Interesting article. Many points for debate, from the title (last taboo) to several separate issues raised.
I think the most sensible thing we as a community can hope to come out of it is for people in general to realise that having a disability doesn't just stop your sex drive.
I have a lot of problems in my hips and my lumbar spine, as well as chronic pain and fatigue and complex gyny issues stemming from the same collagen defect. I'm not going to go into detail - I think you can use your imagination and see how that will affect your private life. It doesn't mean that I'm a different person that I was pre-wheelchair though. I still have the same hopes and desires as before.
It has put pressure on my relationship. If you yelp with pain when someone touches you, it isn't easy to maintain the same level of intimacy. It has made me realise how important intimacy is to a relationship - it is much more integral than I think I realised.
If you are able bodied other than some sexual dysfunction, you can access therapies for that and I think that it would be appropriate to have suitable things available for disabled people in the same vein.
I'm trying to make this make sense without being too graphic so I hope the logic comes through!
It is true that disabled people are generally viewed as asexual beings and that is one of many misconceptions that should be debunked. I mean, it's only recently I've seen condom machines in the disabled loos.
I do disagree with Helena's comment on the times article though - I don't think a majority here are against any change and actively wish to remain disabled and are against any cure. It has to be considered that for many here, they were born with their disability and it is part of them. I wouldn't want anyone suggesting to me that I change so that I am no longer "me". I also don't want anyone telling me that I am somehow inadequate as I am and that I am worth less than others around me because I have a disability so yes, I agree I should be treated fairly in comparison to every one else. In some cases this means being treated the same; in others, it means treating me differently so that I can access the same facilities and resources as my able bodied companions, e.g. extra help at the airport, priority lifts at clubs etc. But I live in pain, day in, day out. I can just about remember what life was like before that. I can certainly remember what life was like before the chair. I would love to get back to that and be "cured". But there is no such magic bullet. I have limited energy so I would rather concentrate on getting the most out of my life as it is and learn to be happy in my own skin, as I am now, rather than chase a cure that doesn't exist.
I do get treated differently by men if I go out on crutches or if I go out in my wheelchair - the public perception of disability is obvious in that respect. Being non-disabled though would not guarantee that I didn't meet a string of idiotic blokes though - the wheelchair does at least guard against that a little.
Thanks for the article Jack. I could comment on the issues raised of paying for sex workers, engaging carer's help, children if you're disabled, hereditary conditions etc but I've already written an essay here.
ggThis is a reply to this message.
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Posted by STRANGELY STRANGE ( A brain on a spring ) (U2496023) on Thursday, 12th November 2009 permalink
The only reason there are condom machines in disabled toilets is ABs go in them for a shag as roomy, lol! . (its only a joke, chill!)
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I believe articles of this nature surface every five years and continue to distort the real issues and solutions. Many disabled people use or support the Outsiders Club, but I have a totally different stance which I cannot outline on a BBC website.
It is enough for me to say I had the misfortunate to meet Ms Owens once and felt debased simply by being in the same room as this madam.
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I had similar issues when I met Cynthia Payne!
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