You know you're deaf when… part 1
14th April 2010
Along with references to LA Gear trainers and Walkman stereos, you were considered a child of the 80s if "you know who shot J.R. in Dallas", if "you remember when magazines printed whole pages of song lyrics," and if you "worshipped the wrestler Hulk Hogan." I once threw myself off a bunk bed pretending I was in a "Royal Rumble", so that last reference almost brought a tear to my eye.
So I put the word out among my friends and we created a deaf version of the list. Once we got going, there was no stopping us. Here's part one of two!
You know you're deaf when ...
• You go to use your Textphone - but before you can make the call, you have to wipe off the remnants of the tuna sandwich you ate six months ago.
• You realise the doctor has just called your name out in the waiting room, but only because everyone else is looking at you, bemused by your lack of response.
• You mention you are deaf at the airport - and find yourself escorted to the front of the queue to board the plane. You feel guilty at the masses waiting behind you but say nothing and grab the best seat. You go on to mention you are deaf every time you fly.
• Some hearing people assume that you are a 'good' person when you tell them you're deaf. You happily let them think that. You later feel disappointed in yourself when they realise you're not quite as 'good' as they assumed you were.
• You only realise your train has been diverted when everyone suddenly walks off your carriage. You just manage to get off before the doors slide shut.
• You meet a deaf person you've never met before, and they instantly ask "are your mother and father deaf?" closely followed by "which deaf school did you go to?"
• You are unable to see another deaf person without sharing a sense of solidarity through a great big 'deaf hug’. After a deaf event, you have sore ribs for days.
• You go to deaf parties only to find yourself surrounded by people you used to go out with.
• You say goodbye to your friends at the deaf club, then have to hug them again an hour later, because deaf people always have "just one more thing" to talk about. Always.
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