Andrew was bouncing a tennis ball off the trunk of a tree in the park when he caught sight of Lloyd walking towards him across the football pitch. He noticed Lloyd was holding a rather battered notebook approximately three cm from his chest. "What’s that?" Andrew enquired loudly, causing a few of birds in the branches of the tree to flutter about and tweet. Lloyd did not reply but continued to approach Andrew at an incredibly slow pace and, after spending about a minute to get about an arms length away from him, offering the thoroughly disappointing answer of "nothing". "Yes you have", Andrew retorted, now slightly annoyed because Lloyd had quite obviously come over with the specific purpose of showing him the book, "what is it?" "Nothing" Lloyd answered again. Andrew grasped at the air behind his back reaching for his stick to beat Lloyd to death with, but just as his fingers touched the end Lloyd’s secretiveness broke. "It's Elvis' diary", Lloyd exploded, "I found it in my garden" Andrew considered bringing up the question of why Elvis' diary would be in the back garden of a house in Beeston but knew Lloyd would only argue, and he had accidentally knocked his beating stick completely out of reach earlier so the argument would never be resolved. "Read some then", Andrew said, showing quite a lot less enthusiasm than his friend. Lloyd opened the pad to the first page. The inside was just as battered as the outside of the book with an entry scrawled across it is black biro. Lloyd read it out in what Andy deemed to be the worst Elvis impersonation ever. UU-HuH Dear diary, I'm All Shook Up. I know we can't go on together with Suspicious Minds. I don't have a Wooden Heart but I really think we can't stay together. Should I apologise to her? I fear I will just end up asking her to marry me and then leave her Crying in the Chapel. Thank You very much. Elvis's pen has left the paper. Lloyd looked up at Andrew still pleased with his find. Andrew was so shocked he could hardly speak, he had always credited the short, floppy haired boy with at least equal intelligence as himself. He could not believe Lloyd could be so stupid as to actually believe this was Elvis' diary. "Do you actually believe Elvis wrote like he spoke?" he asked Lloyd making his distress at Lloyds stupidity quite clear through the tone of his voice. "No", Lloyd replied confidently, "He wrote using bad phonetic spellings of clichéd noises, the titles of his songs, over used Elvis sayings and bad jokes." Lloyd smiled, "Anyway, I must be off", he said "I've got to show my brothers". Andrew didn't have the heart to tell Lloyd his book was a fake so he decided to leave Lloyd to get on with making a fool of himself and returned to bouncing his tennis ball against the tree.
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