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16 October 2014
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Mark Lee
Mark Lee

Mark Lee has been writing short stories for his own enjoyment since he was in primary school and aims to have some of his work published. He suffered a spell of writers block for about 5 years but now that he is back in harness he has been entering competitions, going to classes and using the Get Writing website. His favourite writer is Stephen King and he is slowly but surely working his way through his works. He also likes Anne Rice and David Gemmel.

I Wanted to Believe by Mark Lee


Friday (09:00)

A man arrived home to find police cars and ambulances crowded around his house and music blaring from the CD player in the garage. He quickly made his way to the front of the crowd to find out what had happened. When he got there his heart sank. The song started to play again and he knew exactly what had happened.

I wanted to believe,
Bodies swinging from trees,
Struggling to stand with your head in your hands
A Stoic last stand of a dying man
I wanted to believe as I
Watched your world crumble in your hands
I wanted to believe as you
Raised your glass to your last stand
And I wanted to believe
You would win
The war in your head
That I did not understand
And the Questions pour out.

Thursday (18:00)

David put on one of his favourite CDs, set it to repeat and began to selfdestruct. He picked up his dad’s SledgeHammer and started to smash up the floor, the walls and all of the cabinets and worktops except one. This single bench had three things sitting on it, a small mirror with white powder on it, a photo of a woman in a gold frame and his next task for the evening. He changed the track in the player and began to work in silence and solitude in the garage. When he had finished the work he was doing, the coke on the mirror, he slowly brought his freshly made sawn-off to his face and placed it in his mouth and as he pulled the trigger a tear rolled down his cheek, onto the picture.

Thursday (15.00)

David climbed out of the small window in the boy’s toilets, head and muscles pounding with adrenline from his first fight in school. He had always backed away from possible confrontations but today he walked straight into it with his fists held high. Today he would not be made a fool of. After seeing Steve he took his first hit of coke, and it gave him such a buzz that he sat in a locked cubicle for an hour just looking around him in awe at how wonderful the bathroom was. When he finally woke from the dream he walked straight into a bunch of jocks standing in the hall. They took one look at him and knew what the story was. They started to push him about, trying to get him to puke, but it just wasn’t happening today. In mid spin David gave a right hook to one of the lads and bust his nose. Then he rammed his knee into the crotch of the guy in front of him. The rest took a step away from him in shock. In one swift movement David had taken out two of their group, which none of them had expected. David turned to them and started walking towards them with a determined look in his eye. He wasn’t going to take any more crap today.

After that he just walked straight out of the school without looking back.

Thursday (13.00)

“Steve did you get what I asked for?”

“Yea Dave of course I did but what do you want it for? I didn’t think you needed that sort of thing?”

“Look you don’t need to worry about that! Just give me it. I’ll be fine”

“Okay. But I still don’t think you need it. Just be careful okay?”

“Just drop it okay. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

Thursday

As David walked through the halls before his first class everything was silent. Nobody talked, not a single locker creaked as it was opened or closed. Everyone stood in awe, watching as he walked to his first class, in torn jeans a dirty shirt and tatty hair. Then came the first shouts as always, from the same people as always, “Freak!” “Weirdo” and “Why don’t you go slit your wrists you Gothic nutcase” or “Go eat a goat.” They had known him since their first day in school together. It all started then and it still hadn’t ended after six years. In fact it had got progressively worse. And as normal David said nothing and just kept walking. He kept everything he had ever felt locked up inside the padded cell of his brain, where it rebounded off the walls in streams of taunts and laughs. Everyday something new getting thrown in the room with everything else until it becomes too full to contain, and everything gets released in mayhem. But Steve can help that, Steve can make it go away. Everything would get better when he saw Steve.

Wednesday

David sneaked slowly out of the hospital, hiding himself and his feeling. As he had always done, in school, at home when his dad was there. He had only ever been able to share his feelings at two times, when he was with his mother and when he was sitting in front of a blank piece of paper.

In his father’s view any man who would show his emotions to the public was a faggot and not a real man. School was the same. You had to be what everyone else wanted to be or you would never make it through mentally. The people who didn’t belong in the eyes of the “popular” were hounded constantly through each and every day of their school lives until they were either forced out, or made it to the end and left with honours. Those who didn’t conform dreamt, no hoped that their adult life would be different, that people would be more understanding. It was the only way that they survived; it was the only way David was surviving the torture he was faced with from when he walked up the school steps every morning until he down them again in the afternoon.

He could no longer take the endless tears of lonely men and women who had been left suddenly after years of being a part of something unique and supposedly endless. He couldn’t put up with the pureness that the hospital stood for. Everything was white and bleached, hiding the blood that had been spilt and the deaths that had happened. He didn’t belong anywhere any more but especially not somewhere that was so pure.

He made his way home, ambling through the streets with no real desire to go anywhere but knowing in the end he would have to make it home. He found the house empty, so he went into the garage to stay.

Tuesday

David woke up to a nurse’s voice, telling him that he had visitors. David jerked up to see who had come to see him, but no one had. This evil dream had brought the answer to the biggest fear that he had. He had no friends. Not one person he knew cared enough to see how he was. Nobody had even sent in a card. For the first time he understood how alone he really was.

Last night, before he had finally fallen asleep he had seen his father pass his room on numerous occasions as he waited for news on his wife, but not once had come in to see him or even looked upon him. Then there were the screams and sobs of a man who had aged dramatically, lost everything. He only saw one person after those screams and he could tell in those eyes, as they glanced into his room that he no longer had a father.

Monday

The car hit the curb as it rounded the corner, and its wheels lost their grip in the rain, sending it into the air spinning across the road. It rebounded off a van travelling in the opposite direction sending to higher before it came crashing through the trees into a roadside field. Within an hour the emergency services dragged David and his mother from the wreck and took them to the hospital. David’s mother fell into coma on the way.

Sunday

Happy Mother’s Day
I wish you all the best on this Your Special Day.

The bond we have is stronger than the cement in the building we live in, or that of blood brothers. We shall always be together, one way or another. I will follow your lead until you leave me, and your example until I die after you. You Truly are The Worlds Greatest Mother.

I Love You
David

Read the card amongst the flowers, teddies and chocolates that covered the woman’s bed.


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More from this writer:

Short Stories
Office Romance
I Wanted to Believe

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