The Give My Head Peace Live chat

Here's a transcript of the live chat with Billy (Michael McDowell) and Cal (Damon Quinn) that took place on Friday 14 June, 2002.

BBC Host: Hello and welcome to tonight's live chat with Billy and Cal

Question from Banzi: Will Billy and Dymna ever have children? And will Cal ever get a full time girlfriend?

Damon: It could happen because child actors are cheaper to pay for. As regards Cals girlfriends, he has had several, they just never last.

Michael: We are still trying to work out the contracepton issue. No, he will never get a girl, because she would never be good enough for his mother.

Question from Laura: Have either of you ever considered doing anything besides acting?

Damon: You call this acting, I am just being myself.

Michael: I don't know how I ended up on this show I am a barrister. It was much funnier in court.

Question from Gemma: Cal would u like to have da as ur real da in real life?

Damon: I am his Da in real life.

Michael: I am Cal's brother

Question from Davy Sims: Who were your first comedy heros?

Damon: Dave Allen

Michael: Monty Python

Damon: Dave was spontaneous, witty and charming, which I can be, but I need a script.

Michael: Python - they had the unusual ability to really make me laugh.

Question from Paul Graham: Michael, do you very get help from the Police, a lot of the humour seems very sharply observed?

Michael: The police are my biggest fans, which is surprising, because of my previous life. I used to cross examine them in the witness box.

Question from Mickey: Do you prefer writing or acting?

Damon: It depends which one pays the most at any particular time. I actually want to be Controller of BBC NI

Michael: I want to be a director and fire the entire cast just on a whim.

Question from Steven: Do you have plans to take the show on tour?

Damon: Not to Japan, some where closer to home, maybe North Antrim.

Michael: We are thinking of doing a musical and calling it West Belfast Side Story.

Question from Biggest Fan: What's it like acting in a hugely popular TV sitcom? I bet it is cool!!!

Damon: Actually it is. But don't tell anyone, because I play a twerp.

Michael: Yes it is, but so far, our only groupies have been my mother's age.

Question from Gemma: Billy how can you stick Uncle Andy?

Michael: Believe me the actor who plays Uncle Andy, is much worse in real life. It is a pleasure to work with Uncle Andy.

Question from Ralph: Has the show ever got in trouble for 'going too far'?

Michael: Yes we went to Rome and spent a packet and I would say watch next week's show.

Question from Cheezeh: What do u think is the funniest program on tv? (except of course GMHP)

Damon: Give My head peace repeats.

Michael: Kelly, how he gets away with it always makes me laugh.

Question from Laura: Are there any more locations such as Rome or New York planned for future episodes?

Damon: Portrush, though maybe not that far, according to the BBC accountant

Michael: I am working on a one man episode, where Billy goes to Australia. And finds an aboroginal girl and settles down near Ayres Rock. Its a precursor to a spin off series, Billy.

Question from Arron: How long do you get to learn the script?

Damon: Almost immediately; we write it.

Michael: About a week, although that depends on the alcohol consumed.

Question from Banzi: Is Mervyn homosexual?

Damon: I think you are in the wrong chatroom.

Michael: Mervyn's private life is nothing to do with you.

Question from Pat: Is it difficult to get a balance on the show when there is a lot of trouble in both communities?

Damon: No, everybody knows it is the jews fault.

Michael: No, we just do our best to offend everybody. Then you are safe.

Question from Bill: What does Gerry and Martin think of the programme?

Damon: They are fans.

Michael: Martin is even thinking of taking up English Literature - grammar would help.

Question from Eddie: Billy, are you friends with most of the cast off set?

Michael: No I hate everyone of them. the only person I get on with is my accountant.

Question from Steven: Will Billy be supporting Ireland or England in the world cup, or will it be a South American team?

Michael: laughs - I will be supporting Turkey - the best police state I know. And despite Midnight Express the hash is the best.

Question from Bill: Do you deliberately try to balance the show by sniping equally at both sides?

Damon: Are you in the Alliance Party? If so, you probably have a day job.

Question from Bill: Did you get Red Hand Luke's name from the "Cool Hand Luke" movie?

Damon: You're a movie buff, aren't you? As you can see Dan Gordon is a much better actor than Paul Newman, though he has never had to eat 50 eggs - not yet.

Question from Laura: Are there any special guests planned?

Damon: Yes, but they are in Columbia at the moment. Watch this space.

Question from Banzi: If you where in Big Brother, who would get voted out first?

Damon: Cal and Da, but there probably would be gerrymandering going on.

Michael: I would be behind the cameras carrying out the surveillance.

Question from Mickey: Who are your favourite characters in the show excluding yourselves?

Damon: the audience because we are nothing without them.

Michael: wise up, we are the best characters.

Question from Bernard: How did the show come about? It must have met with some resistance.

Damon: I met with Ian Paisley in a lift once and his only words to me were 'be kind to me tonight' and thats a true story.

Question from Mary: Is Billy any closer to solving the riddle of his parentage?

Michael: good question - this is something which we may probe in the next series. The problem is, he would hate the idea of Uncle Andy being his Da. Which he is in real life!

Question from Bernard: Damon are you jealous that Michael's character gets to have a love interest like Dympna?

Damon: Well being the producer, I cast dympna myself, enough said.

Question from Alex: Is Cal Sinn Fein's answer to Ian Paisley Junior?

Michael: laughs

Damon: no he is much more intelligent and he is his own man.

Have a look at what Ma (Olivia Nash) and Dympna (Alexandra Ford) had to say in another live chat.

Or take a peek at what Da (Tim McGarry) and Uncle Andy (Marty Reid) had to say in an earlier live chat.