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Some
things are a given if you decide to have a go at standup comedy:
1, Simply by standing in front of people and speaking, you will
be more terrified than at any other time in your life.
2, People will laugh, but not always at the point that you
expect them to.
3, You will regret asking your friends to come and see you on your
first night and,
4, You'll realize how great 'the greats' really are.
It's like driving or picking the line-up for the England squad:
Everyone thinks they can do it. But you need to learn about timing,
to discover which words are funny and which aren't, to make people
think you're a comedian.
I quickly learnt that you must walk on with confidence, look people
in the eye, speak with a rhythm. Create a unique world that you're
asking your audience to step into: Billy Connolly's world is unlike
any other, Ken Dodd's the same, likewise Ross Noble.
Do some open mike stuff and try not to watch the other acts before
you: some of them will die on stage and your heart will go out as
your nerve caves in.
Odd that being unfunny on-stage is referred to as 'stiffing', since
it induces total bravery impotence. And those that really storm
it will make you question the quality of your material.
Tell lies
Lie about your experience. No comedian is expected to tell the truth,
unless it's Michael Barrymore.
I told a few club owners that I'd already performed in different
parts of the country when I hadn't. I also did gigs in places where
no-one knew me and I didn't tell friends I was doing them - that
way, if I could make a roomful of total strangers laugh, I thought
I was doing ok.
Don't give up if you receive knock-backs (I did, because my laundry
bill was massive - it's seriously scary).
And if they throw fruit, ask them to take it out the tins first.
Bernie
Keith
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