Before I moved to London in 1988 all I knew about this matter was the bad press from the early to mid-eighties. I got a job as a barman at the Market Tavern in Vauxhall. Within a couple of weeks one of my workmates went into hospital. It was then that I was told that he had “full blown AIDS”. He died in St Bartholomew’s Hospital. That was my first funeral, but sad to say not the last. Soon I learnt that lots of people knew someone who was touched by HIV. I was very careful about sex, which was not hard as every gay club and pub had free condoms and lots of posters – something that should be done in straight clubs as well! Meeting a guy In 1990 I met a guy called Johnathan who came to the club where I worked. We had seen each other for around three to four weeks but every time I got to sex he would stop it. After that I thought he didn’t like me, but then he told me that he was HIV positive, thinking it would scare me away. | "My message is that HIV is not a death sentence – get on to the tablets as quickly as possible." | | Paul |
It did scare me, but we dealt with it together. Every three months we would go to get his combination therapy, and six monthly I was tested for HIV. We always had safe sex but condoms can split. This would scare Johnathan and me but by that time we had got a flat in Islington, London, and were totally loyal. My family accepted Johnathan and read up about the subject still being scared for me. In 1997 my results came back positive and Johnathan started to get very ill. My doctor was very supportive and gave me time to think about starting my therapy. Less than a year later Johnathan died in Barts. That’s when it hit me: I was alone and dying (what a fool) for two years I wallowed in self pity drinking every day which meant I could not start my therapy until my alcoholism was under control. A positive future In 2000 I went to a gay event for people with HIV and met Ricky (Also HIV positive). This was the turning point for me. Life was not over it has just been put on hold! We moved in together in 2001 and are always together, both on combination therapy, and our viral loads are undetectable. We now have a new life in Daventry, and now will grow old together in a long, long life. My message is that HIV is not a death sentence – get on to the tablets as quickly as possible. If you are scared there are great places you can go for help like NLGBA and other Gay & Lesbian charities. HIV does not care who it infects – sex, creed or colour – please don’t be like me and bury your head in the sand! It’s OK to be scared! But there is really no need!! My life is full and fresh. Thanks to everyone for their help and support. | 
