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RON: I became HIV positive. I told Gillian but for about 7
or 8 years I didn't tell anyone else in the family.
GILLIAN:
Again, I think that was because we didn't know anything about
it.
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| "When
I did tell the family, they were all great. There were
no problems. They didn't wrap me up in cotton wool or
they didn't run away screaming." |
RON:
I didn't want to worry them. I wasn't worried about their
reaction. At the time I was diagnosed, which was 1996, there
were no drugs or anything. And I wasn't promiscuous - that's
what got on my bloody nerves. When they told me, they almost
told me to get my house in order and prepare for the worst.
GILLIAN:
It was about the time of those adverts with the icebergs.
Everything was doom and gloom. We didn't even understand the
difference between HIV and AIDS. I think it was difficult
to get our heads round it ourselves.
RON:
And even at the hospital, there was nowhere for you. They
told me as I sat at the nurses station. Counselling was a
cup of tea and: "We hope to see you next week".
Again, that's changed so much now. When I did tell the family,
they were all great. There were no problems. They didn't wrap
me up in cotton wool or they didn't run away screaming. For
me it was a scary time because you thought your number was
up. Also, you have to listen to people who would say: 'People
with AIDS should be put on an island' or 'shoot them', or
'it's God's way'. Well, there are enough diseases in the world
for God not to invent another one. I used to watch EastEnders
and one of the characters said he'd contracted HIV. I couldn't
watch it; it used to upset me. And yet you'd watch every documentary;
you'd want as much information as possible. There wasn't as
much information in the early days. When they told me, I'd
heard of it but it was more something odd that was happening
in America. Because I'm slim, and always have been slim, I
got a lot of prejudice from gay men. You'd get comments openly,
as if I wasn't there: 'Oh, don't go near her, she's got the
skinny disease' and things like that.
GILLIAN:
And yet those people probably wouldn't be practising safe
sex either.
Listen
to Ron and Gillian talking about contracting HIV
(Real 56k, 3'34")
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RON:
I went to the dentist and they'd covered everything - the
ceiling, the machines, everything was covered in plastic.
The dentist had a Ned Kelly-style hat and a butcher's apron
in leather. I'd been in hospital a couple of times, and they
gave me separate loos. Even recently I went into hospital
for a minor op and I told them I was HIV+ and they said: "Yes
we know. But because we know you are, you're going to be the
last to be done today". That was about six or eight months
ago.
GILLIAN:
It is still a frightening time. But at least we know more
about it now. There are ways of being able to treat it now.
When we first found out there wasn't anything. It was just
a kind of horror story. You felt you were going to be ostracised
for the little time we had left. I think that sort of attitude
has now come to the younger people. They think it's an old
person's disease, they probably think they're immune to it.
RON:
And yet they have the highest rising numbers who're HIV+.
It's frightening the number of young people getting it because
they're blasé or they think it's been cured.
GILLIAN:
So what do you do? Do you frighten the life out of people
or try and educate them?
RON:
The sex education just seems to be rubbish. Look at the amount
of teenage girls running around with Chlamydia who have no
idea what it is or how it can affect them! I suppose I'm just
at ease about it. I don't care who knows I'm HIV+. I'm fine
with it. And if someone doesn't like it, I don't give a damn.
Listen
to Ron and Gillian talking about life with HIV
(Real 56k, 2'58")
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