Tia Sharp murder trial: full Stuart Hazell letter
This is the full and unabridged letter Stuart Hazell, on trial for murdering the schoolgirl Tia Sharp, sent to his father from HMP Belmarsh.
Mr Hazell, 37, is accused of murdering 12-year-old Tia before putting her body in the loft of the south London home he shared with her grandmother.
He denies murder and sexual assault at the Old Bailey.
(The letter contains strong language and spelling has not been corrected)
I know I am probably the last person you want to hear from but everything in papers ain't true, they twist and make their own shit up.
What happened I will explain in time but put it this way, it was an accident and I panicked. Stupid I know but for my stupidity I'm looking at 15 to 18 years.
I regret it every second of every day and there's nothing I can do about it.
I think about taking my own life because if I don't someone will, that is a definite.
I'm classed a Cat A prisoner, never thought this would ever happen. I hope you're not getting agro because of me, you know I'm not the bad person everyone's saying.
I can't sleep can't eat I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't. I'm sorry to of lied to you all but I didn't know what to do.
I understand if you rip this up and never want to know me again, I wouldn't blame you.
Christine got arrested, she had nothing to do with this. I loved her with all my heart and sole.
God I hate myself. I should of gone about this a different way, told the police everything. They're trying to say it was sexual but I promise you it wasn't. It was an accident and I was a prick to do what I done.
If I had the chance I would end it here and now, I got no money, no fags, no hope. It's the Hazell curse and I only got myself to blame.
And that will stick with me till my time comes which won't be long. I just want you to know I love you all, I know Christine and family will never forgive me, I know what's coming and I deserve it.
I want to ask you one favour and one favour only. Send me a little bit of money in and I will never ask anything of you again, 1 mistake and my whole world has collapsed.
My own fault I know but don't listen to the papers, like everyone else. I will tell you in time.
I love you all, no doubt you will hear I'm on Old Baily soon. Tell Sarah and Marc and kids I'm sorry, and Mum Darren and family.
May god have mercy on my sole even thought I don't deserve it.
I'm sorry truly, truly sorry
If you want a V.O (visiting order) let me know dad with all your details x
Stuart Hazell denies murder. The trial continues.