News tweets: Prince Harry nude, Lance Armstrong stripped
For the week ending 24 August, here is the news making waves in America - condensed into 10 topical tweets, some more serious than others.
1.If you could convert Augusta's decision to admit two women into a human sound, it would be: "Uuugghhhhhhhhh, fiiiiiiiiiiiine."
Creator of the TV comedy Parks and Recreation, Mike Schurr (@KenTremendous). The prestigious Augusta National Golf Club, home of the Master's Tournament, admitted its first female members, including former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, after years of criticism.
2. Todd Akin won't be a US Senate candidate 24 hours from now unless he's very, very stup... hmm I see the problem
Guardian writer Richard Adams (@RichardA) offers his take on Representative Akin of Missouri, who is also running for the US Senate. Akin faced pressure to resign from the race after he told a local talk show that women's bodies could prevent pregnancy in cases of "legitimate rape". He is still in the race.
3. As a Harvard alum, I apologize for all the Harvard alums using the Niall Ferguson story as an excuse to remind you that they went to Harvard
Bloomberg writer Josh Barro (@jbarro) after Harvard professor Niall Ferguson wrote a cover story for Newsweek magazine that was factually questionable and criticised by other journalists.
4. There's a creepy old man with bad hair plugs wandering Tampa and speaking in tongues? It's another fun-packed episode of "Biden or Hobo?"
GOP Media consultant Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) anticipates Vice-President Joe Biden's upcoming campaign trip to Tampa during the Republican National Convention.
5. Prince Harry's antics blamed on product of broken home, family living off taxpayers, growing up on estates & time spent in institutions.
London Evening Standard reporter Anthony Bonnici (@Anthony_Bonnici) after nude photos of Prince Harry in Vegas were released online.
6. MY FACE!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE!!!!!!
Parody account Fresco Jesus (@FrescoJesus) gives voice to the century-old fresco that fell victim to an amateur restoration by a Spanish senior citizen.
7. On the plus side: the Republican National Convention will go on. However: I'm so very sorry, Haiti.
New York Daily News opinion editor Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman). It looks like Tropical Storm Isaac will not hit Tampa with full force of a hurricane, though it may do so in Hispaniola.
8. John Lennon's killer denied parole for 7th time. Justice is blind. But justice knows a good tune when it hears it.
Irish Times writer Eoin Butler (@eoinbutler). Mark David Chapman will continue to serve time in prison for the 1980 assassination of Lennon.
9. I just found out that I've been mentioned in Phyllis Diller's will. It says, "I leave absolutely nothing to that fat pig, Joan Rivers!"
Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) gives a unique eulogy to her friend, Phyllis Diller, who died this week at 95.
10. Lance Armstrong to be stripped of seven yellow jerseys. What a break for those guys who finished second who were also doping.
Sports radio host Sid Seixeiro (@Sid_Seixeiro) after Armstrong stopped fighting claims of doping. Soon after, the US Anti-Doping agency said it would strip Armstrong of his Tour de France titles.
Some tweets have been edited for clarity