Paper Monitor: Maths is a Byers market

Paper Monitor never feels comfortable writing about the mathematical or grammatical errors of anybody else.

But there's a curious joke in the Times today.

In the last of the leaders, the paper discusses the fact that children struggle with multiplying six by eight.

It recalls that former education minister Stephen Byers (please find enclosed an up-to-date image) was once asked to do eight by seven. He came back with "54".

Stephen Byers

The Times leader says: "Can you believe it? He didn't know it was 58."

As jokes go, this is as subtle as the character development of the tyrannosaur in the first Jurassic Park.

Over to the Daily Mail where the lead picture is a big one of Myleene Klass. It's accompanied by a "wob" (white on black) caption saying: "Myleene: Family and friends drank my breast milk."

As captions go, that's as subtle as the character development of the burglars in Home Alone.

On page three of the Daily Telegraph, there's an extraordinary image from one woman who has taken wisteria growing to the point of insanity. She's made the flowers cover a 252ft-wall.

As wall-hugging plants go, that's as subtle as the character development in… oh, you get the picture.

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