Paper Monitor: Sprechen sie deutsch?

The headline writers have been consulting their German dictionaries again.

During Euro 96, Piers Morgan's Daily Mirror got into hot water for putting "Achtung Surrender" on the front page ahead of England v Germany. With a picture of Stuart Pearce and Gazza in tin hats, never let it be forgotten.

The use of German in headlines is a football story staple. And today it's back.

Nike's new England home kit - white shirt with no collar and a darker blue trim than usual - is said to resemble Germany's famous kit from 1966, 1970 and 1974. Cue tabloid disgust.

"Mein got!! Now England will wear Germany's kit", screams the Daily Express.

"Herr we go!" writes the Daily Star.

But the Mirror shows it still has the pedigree when it comes to Teutonic turns of phrase. Although this time it wisely opts not to kit out Lamps and Wazza in military fatigues and Bren guns.

"Drei Lowen auf dem Trikot" goes the headline. Translation: "Three Lions on the Shirt".

The paper quotes a Gary Lineker tweet: "Smart move by the FA and Nike to go slightly German with the strip. If you can't beat 'em…"

The Daily Star, for whom the England kit design is on a par with the nation's balance of payments, takes a more unforgiving line.

"England's new football kit - now made by Nike - was unveiled yesterday. You have to wonder if the US firm have much grasp of the history of the game they know as soccer."

So now it's the Yanks getting it in the neck too. It can't be long before some sage calls for the national kit manufacturer to brought back under public ownership.

There'll be more headlines about Ze Germans in the coming days ahead of Borussia Dortmund's clash with Bayern Munich at Wembley. If it ends nil nil after 90 minutes, here's a dead cert: "Wurst Final Ever".