So it was, moments before Johnny Vegas was due to be interviewed by Michelle Mullane on GMR's Mullane Around Midnight on Monday 7 June. What followed was one of the more surreal moments ever to be heard on local radio.

Give him his due, Johnny eventually stumbled in. Worse for wear? Hmm.. couldn't possibly say. But then you never can tell with Johnny. And who'd know the difference? On stage or off it, no-one staggers between comic drunk and real drunk like St Helens' favourite son.

Ever the barroom philosopher, he swayed in front of the mic spouting forth on anything from religion and unicorns, to the sheer hell of being a rich and famous Hollywood babe magnet.

Here's Johnny on:

religion: Michelle - So were you ordained? Did you become a priest or not? (Johnny sniggers loudly) "Can you imagine my ordination? (singing) 'where it began, oooh-oooh, it wasn't with the amoebas, 'cause it was God and his Holy word..."
clip 1

Terry Christian: "You know what? Terry Christian masks the fact that he's got a great musical knowledge." (Michelle - but he's got a fantastic musical knowledge!) 'Yes but have you seen his toy train collection - it's rubbish!"
clip 2

Drugs: "I'm not allowed to smoke dope properly, you know. It's all false. It just gives you a really bad headache and a runny nose."
clip 3

Surreal skiing: "Blooming skiing? I couldn't be more bored!". (Michelle - Have you tried it? Well if you haven't tried it, don't comment on it.) "You've got a huge cow in cellophane in your office and you tell me what I should try? I've got a unicorn that doesn't have to be wrapped in plastic. Mine's real and it lives in me loft. And you know what it does? It stabs bats! And you're telling me how to run my life? You should take stock, young lady!"
clip 4

Handing over to Five Live: "Life is the oats what the horses feed on. And we discussed a lot of oats tonight. Oats in a bucket. Truth. Jingling and jangling. As the young stable girl prepared it for you, Five Live. Neigh!!!!!"
clip 5

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