Thought for the Week

Munisha

Thought for the Week

A month ago today, my godfather Charles died. (Buddhists don’t traditionally have godparents, but I was brought up Christian.) A lifelong friend, a gay man, urbane and sophisticated, he had lived in London, Paris, and New York, and edited and wrote for style magazines.

He died of Parkinson’s, in a care home, shaking, demented and doubly incontinent.

I was appalled to think anyone could be so reduced. And yet, from a Buddhist perspective, this is just Reality, staring us in the face: eventually we will lose everything.

Buddhism says there is no such thing as a fixed self, or a soul; no unchanging element that is forever “you”, throughout life and beyond the grave. We do need a sense of self, or we’re quickly in psychological trouble. But, says Buddhism, it’s provisional: look at yourself and try and identify which bit is the real, unchanging you. You can’t. We’re a mass of changing thoughts, emotions, atoms and molecules.

For Buddhists, this is just How Things Are. We can see it as depressing or we can learn to live well with it: to face change and impermanence with love; with appreciative awareness, or “mindfulness”, as Buddhists say.

In all this change, what’s constant is our consciousness: an endless flow of changing perceptions. And with mindfulness, we can learn to channel this flow, choosing more and more positive responses to circumstances, and gradually changing our habits; moving towards the perfection of wisdom and compassion.

Buddhism says that this river of consciousness flows right over the horizon of death, ever changing, taking rebirth in another life.

Will this be a new life or the same old life in a new physical form? The traditional metaphor is that of lighting a candle from a dying flame. You can’t say whether it’s a new flame or not. We only know that that the second depends on the first.

Buddhism says that the mental states we choose in this moment give rise to our future mental states, moment by moment, life after life; and our final states of mind in this physical body are particularly significant for the future. So Buddhists leave the body undisturbed for a period after death, to enable the consciousness to flow on as untroubled as possible.

Broadly speaking, this is traditional Buddhist teaching. Is it true? Well, I have no idea. Many Buddhists take it literally; some are sceptical, particularly Western Buddhists. But it’s quite a thought, that the happiness of some future human life may depend on whether YOU choose kindness and contentment today - or some of your other, less admirable, tendencies.

Charles gradually lost everything that made him “him”. Probably his care staff had no idea he was gay. We tend to assume old people are heterosexual, or have no sexuality at all. But I’m told his carers came to love him: it seems his bad-temperedness waned, while his long-cultivated talent for friendship continued.

Even if the teaching of rebirth isn’t literally true, Charles lives on in my family through various presents we still love; and a surprising number of ways in which I’ve consciously copied him.

And if the teaching of rebirth is true… Well! Somebody is inheriting a river of consciousness abundant with kindness, generosity and style.