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Cliff
- the musical (Prince of Wales)
"I
wish I was in it myself", Sir Cliff Richard is quoted saying
on the posters. But he must have said that before he actually saw
this truly terrible tribute show.
In
fact it's far worse than that: it manages to insult not only Cliff
himself but also the fans, with a caricature pair of them, Sharon
and Sandra, forming a running gag in the show.
| "Cliff
is a national institution, but both he and his fans deserve
something better than this clumsily thrown together concert..."
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Set
in 2020 and constructed around an 80th birthday party being thrown
for Cliff - by now, elevated to Lord Cliff of Weybridge and a resident
of the Keith Richards Health Farm for retired rock stars - it offers
four versions of him, from stocky youth (Ricky Aron) to nerdy pop
star (Miles Guerrini) to earnest middle-aged rocker (Jimmy Jemain)
and OAP (Mike Read, the longtime radio DJ, who has also co-written
the witless book with director Trevor Payne).
cheesy
grins
Only
Jemain - a 1990 winner of television's Stars in their Eyes (for
impersonating Cliff!) - remotely resembles him, with the emphasis
on the remote. A Madame Tussauds waxwork has more animation than
his cheesy grins, though he admittedly sings better than a waxwork.
 With
an amazing career that has spanned the last 45 years and still counting,
Cliff is a national institution; but both he and his fans deserve
something better than this clumsily thrown together (constructed
would be far too generous) concert.
It
informs us that he's had 124 UK hit singles so far (though a website
I consulted afterwards actually listed 132), and by the end of this
nearly 3-hour show, you feel like you've heard every single one
of them - sometimes twice over.
Cliff
- the musical is at the Prince of Wales Theatre, 31 Coventry Street
W1 until 10 May. Tickets £22.50 - £37.50. Box Office:
020 7839 5987
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Listen live
Click
through amazing shots of London from high up in a helicopter!