All_2gether_Now

My typical day starts when I wake up at seven in the morning with a dry mouth from the medication I took the night before. I suffer from severe mental health problems depression, stress and anxiety.

My anxiety stems from the fact that every day I think I might be deported back to Zimbabwe where I was beaten by the police.

I am happy to be here in England but don’t know what the future will hold for me. It’s a waiting game. I am an asylum seeker. If I got permission to stay and a work permit I could plan for the future.

Back in Zimbabwe I worked as a baggage handler at the airport. I had to leave that country though because I was under threat from the government since I was a member of the opposition party, an activist.

I never suffered from mental health problems in Zimbabwe. My problems began when I was sent to a detention centre when I first arrived in the UK. I was held for about ten months at a centre in the south of England.

The conditions there were not good. You could not leave the centre. I got food and I could speak to my sister on the phone but that was all. My state of mind deteriorated  and they put me on medication.

In the end my solicitor got me out and I came to live in Leeds. That’s where I am living now in a shared house with other asylum seekers. 

Sectioned

My mental health got even worse while I was living in Leeds. Eventually I was detained in prison and then 'sectioned' - that means I was sent to a mental hospital on a compulsory basis.

I was in and out of mental hospitals for some time. I now have a social worker assigned to me who gives me a lot of support.

My social worker and a few particularly good friends keep me going. I also need to keep busy so that I don’t dwell on my problems.

Safe in the UK

I believe I am safe here in Leeds and that no one from Zimbabwe will come after me.

I got a letter from the British Home office in January 2007 saying they wanted to deport me back to Zimbabwe. I was in a mental hospital at the time. My solicitor wrote back to them to tell them where I was.

I haven’t heard anything from the Home Office since January so I don't know what it happening now about my case.

I’m not allowed to work but my case for political asylum is being processed so I get handed vouchers to buy stuff.

I get my breakfast some days at a drop in centre in Leeds for destitute asylum seekers at a local church hall. I go there twice a week.

At the drop in centre I meet a lot of destitute asylum seekers like me but from different backgrounds and countries. We talk together and discuss our situations.

I stay there for a while and have lunch there which is served by asylum seekers. They can do this voluntary work but they aren't allowed to do paid work. Paid work is banned until you get the right papers which can take years.

The fact that a lot of asylum seekers can't work affects us physically, emotionally and morally. A lot of us have families back in our mother countries.

Not only do we miss our families but  we have a responsibility to look after them that we cannot fulfil.

I have a wife and two kids back home, their life in Zimbabwe is not easy.

At the end of the drop in centre we are typically given food parcels to take home. Of equal importance is that the staff helps us with the appeals procedure and explain how we can progress our asylum claim.

Sign on

On Friday every week I have to report to the immigration authorities to sign in. Often the queue there is very long and I have to stand for a couple of hours before getting a chance to sign.

The reason for 'signing-in' is to let the authorities know you are still living at the same address and to assess your benefits - that's if you are staying in accommodation provided by the National Asylum Support Services (NASS).

I don’t get to choose where I live but I can’t complain because it’s a roof over my head.

I choose to do voluntary work twice a week in a charity shop. It gets me out and about and I meet new friends through it.

Mentally strong

I have my weekly routine and that, as well as my tablets and my social worker help me to keep balanced and mentally strong.

My day ends at home after I’ve cooked my food I take a rest. I’ve put on a lot of weight because of the tablets I’m taking. I used to be thin.

I tend to stay in my room and watch TV and play music. I usually go to sleep about 11 o’clock after watching the BBC news.

Zimbabwe

To keep up to date with what’s happening in Zimbabwe I pick up free newspapers that you can get here in Leeds and I go on the Internet.

I haven’t thought about going back to Zimbabwe because being an asylum seeker they would still be looking for me. I don’t know what would happen to me if I went back.

I would go back

The best thing would be if I got an assurance that the place is safe for me I would go back because I miss my kids and my family and everything.

If I get permission to stay in the UK and work here I would first like to bring my family over.

I wouldn’t want to work in baggage handling again but would like to train to be a care worker. I would like to look after elderly people and those with mental health problems since I have suffered with this myself I now have an understanding.

This article was written by W.A.N, a journalist & asylum seeker from Cameroon

This is user-generated content (i.e. external contribution) expressing a personal opinion, not the views of BBC Leeds.