In the first few weeks after my weekly hospital stays finished I felt lost and deflated. I should have been celebrating the fact that it was all over, but just felt completely shattered. My life had been governed by doctors, nurses, operations and drugs for so long that I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. Once the onslaught of treatment was over, the sense of loss – the loss of my leg, the loss of a future I’d always imagined with children – hit me, and floored me for a while. But only for a while. Recently I’ve started doing things that I enjoy again. Pete and I have been on three short breaks – to Glasgow, London and the Lake District. Each time away has restored a little more colour to my cheeks and a little more spirit to my soul. I’ve discovered that, although I can’t walk very well yet, I can still have fun and get carried away with the spontaneity that a holiday encourages. I’ve joined a disabled riding group and am starting to be active again. I even won my first ever dressage competition! I’ve discovered that when I’m riding it’s hard to tell that there’s anything wrong with my leg and that gives me some confidence back. I can also ride a bike better than I can walk (although I fall off more often than I used to). I think I will always feel a little sad about what’s happened to me, although I will always try not to be self-pitying. And the fear of the cancer returning is ever-present. But there’s also a strange sense of strength and security that’s come out of it all.
In a couple of months I will be having my postponed wedding to the man who supported me through it all. We are lucky to be getting married in the absolute knowledge that we can make it through the tough times – because we already have. (You can contact Sally and read more about her progress using the link on the right to her blogspot) | 
