How it began

I started on drugs, well heroin, when I was fourteen. Before that I was on cannabis and drinking. I was trying to forget what my life entailed and that. When I was fourteen I was raped and it got too much and I couldn't handle it. My partner that I was seeing at the time was on heroin and he said that it was good and that it would sort my head out. I thought I'd try it, just the once. It was a Saturday and we were watching the football and I'd had a couple of cans. I thought why not?

Only myself to blame

Drugs: "A waste of time, a waste of money and a waste of thought."

I hate him for that but at the same time I hate myself for it.

I've got my own mind and no matter how screwed up I was and no matter how young I was I still could have said no. But I didn't and I've still got myself to blame for that.

I started shoplifting and my habit went up to seven bags a day.

I thought I could handle it. Looking back now I can say ' why didn't I stop'? but I didn't see the point of stopping then. I just wanted to block everything that had happened to me out of head.

Every day is a struggle

Now I can see the damage it's done. It's screwed up my head and everything. The problems are still there when you come off it. It's like you've just paused it. Heroin isn't really the answer. Once you're on it, very rarely can you get off it. Not a day goes by that I don't think if I could just get a dig, and sort myself out, everything will be fine.

The future

In the future I hope to have no second thoughts about drugs. I don't want to be involved in all that. It's just a waste of time, a waste of money and a waste of thought. At the end of it all I just want to have a decent house, a job, car, my partner beside me and perhaps a kid.

Don't

I know it seems like the answer at the time but it's really not long term. Don't do it, it's the biggest mistake you'll ever make. It just causes more problems. Just don't.

Maxine now belongs to a support group at Getaway Girls.

Watch Natalie's video.