Lost for words
Sometimes our attempts to impress the locals don't go according to plan. Tell us about your linguistic blunder by using the form on the right hand side.
- Yvette - Baby news
- Bob - Word confusion
- Magali - Free range?
- Seb - Exotic dance training
- Michael - Hello Good-bye
- Michael - Seal
- Donnal - Travelling by turnip
- Mark - Stick it
- Beatrice - Car pudding
- Jay - Champagne rinse?
- Mike - My boss, that duck
- Stephanie - In bed with a firm sailor
- Kate - And a trim for my horse, please
- Brady - Monet, Monet, Monet
- Adrian - Pretty dustbin
- Nathan - Do you want worms with that?
- Robyn - He pleases me
- Lisa - Chirac comments on croissants and cheese
- Sam - Throat support
- Elaine - Really slow food
- Meg - I've dipped myself
- Victoria - Market Day
- Andrew - A tea bag, please.
- Susan - A puppy called Loo.
- Richard - Rubbish Coastline
- David - A Bit Forward
- Malcolm - Engage brain before speaking!
- Sylvia - Preserving wood!
- Barbara - Thirteen children!
- Marjorie - Bloody good singer
- Ruth - Nice bum!
- Alanna - Hair in the nose!
- Aivan - Jolie !
- Suzanne - Piece of ham
- Francis - Waiter, a corset, s'il vous plaît!
- Sarah - What a jolie girl!
- Ella - Holiday with a mission
- Ella - The devil comes clean
- Amy - The naked steak
- Hayley - Here comes the cleaner
- Andrew - My wife's a vegetable
- Julie - We are Henry Mushroom
- Victoria - Loadsa strawberries!
- Jeffrey - Bathroom diner
- Peter - Hungry brag
- Bryan - Stuffed bunny
- Paul - A slice of butcher, please
- Wendy - Never been ... inserted
- Alan - A cat with cream, please
- Charlie - Feeling hot
- Christine - Heat me up
- Laura - A safe ride
- Anthony - Defying gravity
- Steve - What an exhibitionist!
- Tracy - No steak at noon
- Michael - Turning wine into coffee
- Richard - Beer for breakfast
- Suzanne - Fallen woman
- Xatufan - Big fat mistake
- Justine - Try it or dry it
- Tony - Thanks, nice bottom
- Helen - Madame, your chicken!
- Steve - Drink, lots of it
- Michael - Gathering art
- Olliebob - Austrians in the zoo
- René - Two old horses
- Derek - Fishy pigs
- Ben - Nearly departed
- Mary - French flirting
- Tom - A rodent device
- Barrie - You cannot be serious
- Andrew - A dozen eyes, please!
- Lisa - Bird cream
- Joe - Deadly food
- Lisa - Bit of a bad start
- Just - No fries
- Joan - My husband and I
- Barbara - Here's my postman.
- Gerry - Sick of me
- CH - Stuck in the W.C.
- Martin - Bien cuit !
- Frances - Condoms!
- Daniel - Mistaken rudeness
- Frances - Calling one's offspring!
- Pierre - Wash my horses
- Russell - Idiots moving house
- Finbarr - Hooligans and Peeping Toms
- Ruth - How can he go to the loo?!
- Kate - Those agile, helpful sheep.
- Melissa - Pain in the neck
- Scott - Town idiot
- Andy H - Do you want me?
- Claire - Scram!
- Daniel - Little green pigs
- Fiona - Hunter's stew
- Jack - Barrel it in
- Lora - Like a bird bath, only smaller
- Neil - Frank question
- Janet - Very dead
- Janet - What lovely mouse
- Christine - Crispy stupid person
- Dominique - Any word with "A"
- Britt - First impressions count
- Anne - Unusual ornaments
- Phil - Mad for cucumbers
- Katherine - Toothy paste
- Fiona - Heartfelt plea
- Linda - Flying cow pat
- Kristen - So what's your hobby?
- Linda - Visions of Thor
- Michael - A little pea
- James - French kissing
- Patrick - Had enough?
- Anthony - Sick car
- Pam - Sauce or sausage
- Matthew - Undress my mattress
- Robin - Chick sandwich
- Amanda - Radical diet
- Malcolm - Dry the monkey
- Andy - A duck to Palais Royal
- Cecily - We're the pits
- Ailsa - Get thee to a nunnery
- Graham - Tender loving care
- Roland - In what colours comes your cheese?
- Claire - The beak, please!
- Vicky - A whale of a time
- David - We are the champignons, my friend
- Lauri - Don't bother me with your orange juice
- Bree - Money or pain, it's all the same
- Felicia - Something's fishy
- Miles - We are the church
- Bob - Sunstroke
- Andy - Taking the po ...
- Roland Fisher - Slurred pronunciation?
- Sam - Pechugas de pollo
- Laura - Be careful what you order
- Mike - Small grandchildren
- M A Newell - Personalised luggage
- Michael - A pound of donkey
- John - A hike for me and my beetroot
- Bob - The three singing forks
- Hilda - After a pilot
- Marylin - What a delicious cat!
- N.J.Srinivasulu - More or less married
- Ian - Drink! Gals! Us!
- Alan - Always ask for permission
- Andrew - Sweet motorcycle
- Delores - Fresh fish for lunch?
- Dan - Buttered trousers
- John - An enlightening moment
- Judi - Free cat
- Sven - Some soup soap
- Anna - Contact lenses for dinner
- Philippa - My eight hurts
- Kate - Touchy feely
- J. Smith - I like you a lot
- Fernando - Lovefool
- Simon - You gotta have balls
- Felicity - With a glass of Chianti
- Lizzie - Look at my plants
- Ailsa - Fork and other members of the family
- Phil - I need a man
- Brendan - Devout pelican
- Mick - Beer or coffee?
- David Paul Morgan - Shaken not stirred
- John - Tuna milk shake
- Ann - Lovely dessert
- Rich - Life saving question
- Gisele - Don't make mine an ice cream float
- Ian - What's your favourite luggage?
- Derek - Herbal tea
- Dan - Ordering trout
- Norman - I feel really hot
- Jonny - Lack of bladder control
- Peter - Adage Spanish
- Ana - No success out
- Ritesh - Half happy to see you
- Roger - Do you want ketchup with this?
- Irene - Rent-a-Mum
- Lulu - Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
- Emily - There's the door
- Derek - Freshly squeezed
- M Richardson - Do you want my babies?
- Elizabeth - Luggage leader
- Maria - With my deepest confusion
- Laura - Don't do it!
- Debbie - Six tables later
- Pete - Lost postman
- Ed - I'll be back
- Tanda - My Spain hurts
- Derek - Ordering shrimps
- John - A dinner to die for
- Robert - A sinful beer
- Tiger - Mexican delights
- Stephanie - Cheeky chicken
- N.J.Srinivasulu - Licking good!
- Anne Louise - At the cow wash
- Rachel - Playing with elephants
- Robert - Locals' lingo not up to scratch!
- Keith - Little men
- Gabriela - Brain transplant
- Ralph - Miraculous conception
- Kaye - Let there be light
- Tanja - Beautiful blisters
- Geoff - Constipated cold
- Tina - Do you feel old?
- Maureen - Naked climb
- Helen - Rare medical condition
- Tony - Very safe wood
- Andy - A mischievous guy
- Deborah - Are you bored?
- Anon - Small and smelly
- Colin - Meaty gadget
- Philip - Take your head off
- Sarah - Tasty shoes
- Cristina - Askew Bible study
- John - Buttered magazines
- Sandra - Lenny Kravitz plays the electric food mixer
- Jenny - Lover, be quiet!
- Kati - A damned girl
- Alison - Teacher's blunder
- Fatima - Casado del dia
- CJ - You rabbits!
- Damian - Chocolate Donkeys for Breakfast
- G. W. - You have what
- Jeff - With jam on...
- Edita - You are married?
- Bob - Bread and games
- Jim - Good food, please
- Pauline - Bag full of dreams
- Nicky - Point-and-shoot cameras
- Chiara - Too much Sangria
- Marie - Fitting in
- George - Too much information
- Karen - What a gay day!
- John - Scrap it
- Xavier - A safe response
- Tom - Post-nuptial bliss
- Jeremy - It's a love thing
- Carolina - Seduction at the cinema
- Pete - Coronation puppy
- Deirdre - Dream job
- Irenita - Salzschlangen
- Rob - Tasty
- James - Cheesy
- Pernille - Dinner is ready
- Robert - What's cooking
- Gill B. - Bring your washing
- Pernille - They were all shot down
- Helen - Big bum!
- Lucy - Funereal decor
- Jennifer - International chain of shops
- Jon - Leather cheese and silly sausage
- Lizzie - Kinder disappointment
- Andrew - Anatomical miracle
- Heather - Just fine
- Andy - Involuntary confession
- Tom - Morning run
- M Finch - Careful with your plurals
- Victoria - Holy water!
- Pat - Through snow and shine ...
- Geoff - Eat your words
- Richard - Dry martini for three
- Tabeo - I was angrily bilingual
- Arthur - Shooty kind of place
- Jeff - Trainspotting in Germany
- Camillus - Where is the hole?
- Trish - Too much information
- Aaron - Tap water?
- Alison - Film trailers
- April - Acquired taste
- Mike - Kaffee und Kaiserschnitt
- Caroline - Watch the umlaut
- Liam - Foot service
- Katie - Getting laid
- Kevin - Don't forget your toothbrush
- John - Nice panties for the gentleman
- Eleanor - This cat's got balls
- Chris - Great view
- Pete - Looking for sympathy
- Tim - Gut the burger
- Anne - Exciting appetizer
- Jane - Feeling blue
- Julie - A satisfying job
- Richard - A messy apology
- Phil - Stinky kind of guy
- Edward - A tight fit
- Desmond - Drunk and dirty
- David - How would you like your bread?
- Simon - Amazing talent
- Andy - A blackboard for one
- Yvonne - Doubts about döner
- Gareth - You're delicious!
- Deborah - Cat killer
- Malcolm - Watch your daughter
- Bryan - Sick feelings
- Roger - Beaming pigs
- Andrew - Keep it in the family
- Chris - Harassed waitress
- Pernille - We surrender
- Alexander - Wet morning in Nuremberg
- Lucy - Bladder orchestra
- Jessica - Are you a roller-skater?
- Martin - Shooting sheep
- Emily - Grassy legs
- Barry - At the shooting gallery
- Graham - Getting the bird
- Ande - You are what you eat
- Eva - Austrian delight
- Caroline - Cupboard confusion
- Steven - Gay uncle
- Jane - An interesting career move
- Walter - Troubled holidays
- Don - Jump on the girl
- Noel - The happy corpse
- Jay - Unintentional flattery
- Caleb - Strange hobbies
- Marc - Woman and doctor
- Sian - Big appetite!
- Richard - Feel free!
- Alberto - So many Dudas in Germany
- Zack - Too much fast food
- Tina - Beware of grapefruit ice-cream
- Maggie - A fishy dessert
- Kathryn - All roads lead to ...
- James - Any old iron
- Diana - Aglio or Olio
- Cécile - A very manly pizza
- Philip - Bursting for a prawn
- Louis - Wrong part of the body
- Sarah - I don't eat dog!
- Pete - Very hungry
- Alex - In bed with prosciutto
- Melvyn - No peach please, we're English
- Janice - Finished
- Louisa - Don't swear at the waiter
- How - Feeling stuffed
- Jessie - Beautiful 'figs'
- Richard - Great thirst, small drinks
- TB - Amazing medieval mumps
- Michael - Sudden inspiration
- Jolanda - Phone home
- Kristina - We love geese
- Catherine - Only fools rush in
- Ray - Venetian headache
- Antonio - Mice salad
- Tracey - Paying for it
- Helen - What a piggy!
- Richard - Watch Your Pronunciation
- Jess - Bean juice please!
- Katherine - Biking it to Florence
- Anke - Same name
- Amy - The beers are on the bride
- Deborah - A nice hot dog
- Liz - Some discount, please!
- Mark - Host hedgehogs
- Katerina - Greek speciality?
- Kelly - Cheeky chicken!
- Laurs - We can still walk
- Skiathos - Indecent proposal
- Bryan - Kalamari to you too!
- Dennis - The bill, please
- Choon - Liver blood very much!
- Bill - Don't mention it
- Sharon - Role swap
- Jamie - Personality disorder
- Irene - Charity
- Big Col - The wrong kind of hare
- David - Moose eating fish
- Mada - Visit Exit
- Brian - Poopy pretzel
- Robert - Something for the weekend, Sir
- Daida - Special request
- Francoise - Offensive signature
- Antonia - Trying to be funny?!
- Raphael - What a desperate visit!
- Mick - Surprising sermon
- Keith Wood - Sausage dog
- Freda - Strange profession
- Graham - Public houses for the proletarians
- Heather - Smoking chicken
- Sarah - I'll have the hedgehog, please.
- Ammon - Cheers!
- Jason - A talented student
- Chris - Boring lunch
- Howard - Tolstoy's new book
- Gerard - My other wife
- Richard - And father-in-law to you, too!
- Anette - And hello again!
- Dan - Cheers and good night
- Graham - In the family way
- Anna - Nice ice-cream
- Neil - Three wines please
- James - Hungry neighbour
- Steve - Sex on the hill
- Sian - Great milk
- Els - Skin condition
- Anthony - Your chick's calling
- Lanja - Let us bite
- Dominic - Big ego
- Rosemarie - Have you seen my breasts?
- Claire - A big kiss for the fat tart
- Brian - Brain surgery
- Kappe - Light my fire
- Margaret - What a darling
- D.I. - Morbid humour
- Naomi - Pants problem
- Charlie - Love your bum
- Anthony - Sir Goat
- Emily - Kiss kiss!
- Amber - Once bitten
- Lyn - Not too bright
- Zach - Pants or glasses?
- Sanda - Fancy pizza
- Jon - Official documents
- Anne - What watch is it?
- I. - I dig you!
- R Clark - Broken pig
- Alexandra - Stop at the next cow
- Ali - Monkey on a bus!
- Ben - Come on, have a guess! (Arabic)
- James - The wrong thing to say to any woman (Korean)
- Colin - Bad start (Czech)
- Carol - Give me iron (Serbian)
- David - Very hungry (Norwegian)
- Catherine - Virgin Mary, oops! (Slovak)
- Chris - In the street street (Malay)
- Daniel - Rest in peace (Danish)
- Helen - Stop for some oil (Cantonese)
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