German Steps - Family and marriage - Cultural notes

Die Familie, family, has always played an important role in German life and social customs, and even today a sense of duty and family tradition is still strong.

Die Ehe, marriage, remains very important, however many changes have contributed to a more liberal attitude to family life, particularly in the cities. In common with most Western European countries, the 1990s saw a rise in non-married couples living together. This is normally referred to as die Lebenspartnerschaft, literally 'partnership for life', and it is now recognised and protected by civil law.

Since the 1960s there has been an increase in die Ehescheidung, divorce, but Germany is also experiencing a growing acceptance of same sex partnerships. For example since 2001, gay partners can be registered as a couple and enjoy similar rights as married couples.

For a marriage to be recognised by law, couples take part in die zivile Trauung, the civil or state wedding, which takes place at das Standesamt, the registry office located at the city hall. Die kirchliche Trauung, the church ceremony, is optional.

The equivalent to the stag or hen night is der Polterabend, literally 'noisy evening'. At this traditionally raucous party, guests bring gifts of pottery and smash them to bestow good luck on the future married couple.

A traditional German wedding is known as die Hochzeitsfeier, and can be quite an action-packed event. The specific traditions do vary from region to region but one of the highlights observed across the country is the kidnapping of the bride. On her wedding day friends and family will hide the bride at strategic points around their village or town. The groom then has to track her down, and as he hunts for her, will stop in bars en route buying drinks for friends he meets.

Importantly, one marked difference about married Germans is that they wear der Ehering, the wedding ring, on their right hand not their left.

Getting Married in Germany - a guide from the US Embassy.