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28 October 2014
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Skiver's Corner
bloke asleep at a computer
Is it cos I is skiving?
Welcome to Skiver's Corner - stuff you can have a shufty at when you're supposed to be working. So grab a coffee, slouch back in your chair and take a break - you deserve it!

Click here if the boss comes!

star One too many?
To all the drunk women, you know it's time to go home when...
Sent in by Suzie from Preston

star Definition of Cooking Terms
Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat the rest of...
Sent in by Tracey

starHow to give a cat a pill...
It's a piece of cake! NOT!
Sent in by Dave Almond....

starDodgy insurance statements
An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished...
Sent in by Ms G Parenti...

starNew employment conditions
Sent in by Dave Barnes... bet you're glad you don't work at the same place, eh

starA little poem about Spell Checkers...
Alan Richards is very impressed with his new PC, it has a very good spell checker...

starExercise is good for you!
Laura Shaw tells us why exercise is good for you... not.

starYou're a man if...
Thanks to Alan for his testosterone-charged offering...
Sent in by Alan Richards

starKnobbly monsters
An appreciation of those desperate attempts not to use the same word again... when there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted to "the knobbly monsters".
Sent in by Sue Hendey

starSilly signs
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR...
Sent in by Joanne Gallacher

starLife Lessons from Dogs
I like the bit about taking lots of naps...
Sent in by Chris Mills

starDifferences Between Men And Women
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't want...
Sent in by Kirsty

starMollie grabs a "pizza" the action
Mollie was so impressed with our grub-related ludicrous list, she's come up with a whole fridge full of food related silly stuff! Don't read it til after lunch though, it'll make you hungry!
Sent in by Mollie Matthews

starMore daft questions...
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Sent in by Debbie from Morecambe

starWhen I win the Lotto...
He went down to the showroom and sat in the car of his dreams...
Sent in by Debbie from Morecambe

starWho? Why? What? When? Where?
Suzie from Preston has all the answers... to some very strange questions...
Sent in by Suzie

starOnly in America...
Only in America...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Sent in by Bernice Porrazzo

starAge Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
"Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests.."
Sent in by Gabby Parenti

starSomething for the older woman...
I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it...
Sent in by Debbie from Morecambe

starEnglish is tough stuff
Coffee break time? Print this off and test your work mates, see who can read it correctly all the way through...
Sent in by Harry Nuttall

starLetter from a schoolgirl
I entered my daughter's bedroom and saw a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, I read it with trembling hands...
Sent in by Sallie Carter

starAlien Dancing Pants
Simon's ditty on these dangerous pants...
Sent in by Simon Tinsley

starHow to be annoying
Don't do all these at once!
Sent in by Andrew Hindley

starYou know you're living in 2004 when...
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three...
Sent in by Peter from Clitheroe.

starDelia v 'Real Woman'
Never mind Delia's tips, you'd be better off doing it the Real Woman's way...
Sent in by Alison

starThe Pied Piper
Christina's Piped Piper joke with a twist...
Sent in by Cristina McDowall

starMore rules for the office
Top tips to avoid work, and aggro off the boss!
Sent in by Irene Richards

starDid you hear the one about the alien?
Loads of alien jokes...
Sent in by Pentium Sam

starNew Rules For Employment
Be grateful you don't work somewhere like this...
Sent in by Anon

starManagement lessons
Words of wisdom to help you get to the top!
Sent in by Tracey Townsend

starMetaphor madness
"These are metaphors from actual GCSE essays - who said the Literacy Hour's not paying off?"
Sent in by Dave Coffey

starHits and headlines
More daft newspaper stories from Lisa.
Sent in by Lisa H

starRead all about it
Thanks to Irene B. for sending in such thought provoking newspaper headlines as "Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe"
Sent in by Irene B

starIsland of Adventure
Ed finally decides to take a holiday. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life, until the boat sinks...
Sent in by Chris Bolton

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