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28 October 2014

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Ludicrous lists
"I hate this job..."

Check out our ludicrous lists, designed to give you a laugh and make the world a better place.


Chris Yates sent in 30 things you'd love to say at work...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. This is good!
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
17. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
18. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
19. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
20. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
21. Do I look like a people person?
22. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
23. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
24. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
25. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
26. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
27. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number one?
28. Too many clowns not enough circuses.
29. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
30. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Add to the list...

Mal Walker added this...
“Hi everyone – I just won 10 million on the lottery – bye!”

James Wilson added this...
Well today was a waste of make-up

More lists...

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