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24 September 2014

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Ludicrous lists
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen  in bed
Get us a glass of water love...

Check out our ludicrous lists, designed to give you a laugh and make the world a better place.


Jean Douglas sent in ten things which happen as you go for a drink of water in the middle of the night....
Bang your little toe on the bed leg

Catch your hip on the dressing table.

Walk into the door post and crack your head.

Fall over the sleeping dog,

Trip up over your slippers, then over a shoe.

Bang your elbow's funny bone on the half opened bathroom door.

Stand on a drawing pin you lost the night before.

Drop the glass in the sink, smashing it to bits, then cut your hand as you're trying to pick up the bits.

Fill your cup with water, get back in bed drink it, and find it's warm water not cold.

When trying to be as quiet as possible so not to wake hubby, you knock off the alarm clock, which triggers the alarm, which wakes the dog, who jumps onto the bed lands on hubby's chest, who wakes up screaming he is having a heart attack...

Emma added this...
Walk in on your flatmate's boyfriend also using the loo in the middle of the night and not shutting the door!

Valerie Ford added this...
When in California go for a glass of water, and as you leave the bathroom you find the whole house is shaking. You are in the middle of an earthquake, and your husband is having a panic attack because he can't find you! (this is a true story)

Sheila Ryder from Preston added these...
Stand a bare foot on a piece of Lego.

Stand on the dog's/child's squeaky toy, waking the dog/child whom you'd spent ages getting to sleep.

Stand on the creakiest floorboard because you can't avoid it en route to the sink.

Slip on the staircase, seriously bruising your shin.

Mal Walker added these...
In the dark put your hand on a giant hunstman spider sitting on top of the tap!

Kick the bathroom scales half way across the bathroom!

Put the wife's dressing gown on and pull a button off while tugging it close!

Knock a giant tower of childrens plastic toys into the empty bath where they rattle around for at least ten minutes!

Wrench the tap and have the cold water shoot out suddenly and soak your bottom half!

Collect the shower screen door on the way out and have it slide shut with a noise like a subway train crashing in the station!

On returning, collide head-to-head with the wife (who has moved over in your absence)

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