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24 September 2014

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Office dares
desk covered in newspaper
Some people obviously have too much time on their hands...
Richard Leonard says "I thought you might enjoy this picture. Bonus points for international newspapers - although being near a university or airport might reduce the scoring on these. Alternative "weighting" could be based on the currency of the newspaper, or inclusion of the victim's favourite footie team on the sports pages."

Grace from London added this...
"Faxing through to a collegue results from the family planning clinic, and sending an email to the entire office "by accident" asking them to pick it up from reception is another good office dare!"

Are you daft enough, I mean brave enough to try Office Dares..?

One point office dares...

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zip open for one hour. If anyone
points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

10) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Three point office dares...

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot
him with double-barrelled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink
directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

6) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it

7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Five point office dares...

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad
Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your
forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell
him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from
the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent
each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Paul Boyd sent these in...
quotedrill a hole in the bottom of a colleagues coffee mug and then fill it with melted candle wax. watch as they manage to get two or three paces from the kettle before the wax melts and the coffee starts pouring through the hole. alternatively break the handle off their mug and glue it back on with wax, stand well back! (this one is rather more dramatic than the previous one)

put a note in the emptied lunch box of any male colleague who still lives at home and has his mother make his lunch offering a service to find him a bride and get him off her hands for £500. (the offer was accepted when we tried this)

S. A. Skelhorne sent this in...
quoteI always find it amusing to look at my bosses hairline or slightly above his head (if talking from a distance) when talking to him, thus manifesting a sense of paranoia. If this doesn't work initially, subtly scratching the top of my head with a pen usually gets the paranoia ball rolling.quote

Stephen Watson sent these in...
quoteWhen you colleague has left the room, button up over the chair any clothing they have hung on the back.

Sellotape their things to their desk e.g. pens, rulers, car keys, anything that looks a good target. After some time of this, make a show of tearing some sellotape from the dispenser when they are on the phone and watch their reaction. If they keep talking, tape their hand to the handset.

Lower their seat when they are out of the room, deny it was you and see how long you can get away with it

Pop off the keys 1,2,3 and 7,8,9 on the numeric keypad of their keyboard and replace them the other way round. When they accuse you of doing this (if they ever notice!) point out that you just Feng Shuied their keyboard to match the phone (the phone keypad is opposite way round).

Stick a label marked 'Any' over the home key on the keyboard and tell them that's the one they press when the computer says "Press Any Key to Continue"quote

Tony Pickering sent this in...
quoteNotify 10 people that a manager (name him) wants them to attend a meeting and give them a location for the get together. Notify the manager in question that you believe there is a group of employees who are holding secret meetings...quote

Tracey Townsend sent these in...
quoteAt a meeting, stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.

Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.

Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.

Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it.

Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room.

Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points.

Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.quote

Matt Johnson sent these in...
quoteDuring a meeting, roll your eyes and shake your head in disagreement each time a superior speaks.

During a meeting, raise your hand and say "Ya know, I'm going to have to disagree with you on that one," each time a superior speaks. When he/she asks why, flash them a sly grin and a wink, then say, "You'll see."

Call the coworker sitting in the cube to your left and ask a simple question at a level everyone around you can hear. Thank them for the answer and hang up. Then call the coworker in the cube to your right and repeat the exact same question at the same level.

Each morning for a week straight, beg and plead with your monitor that you don't want to fight today and assure it that you're trying your best.quote

Sarah Deaville sent this one in, which she says should be a five pointer...
quoteCome back from your lunch break looking a bit flushed and dishevalled, smelling of perfume (if you're a guy) or aftershave (if you're a laydee). Guys who are feeling really daring could also have lipstick on their collar. When people notice just smile mysteriously and raise your eyebrow.quote

Eddie sent these in...
quoteGang up with your colleagues and see how long your boss can handle being called another name (such as Cecil or Norman). Try to beat five days straight.

Arrange a night out with everyone and the boss, but make sure everyone except your boss turns up an hour later than planned.

Give each other buzz words prior to team meetings - the winner is the one who says their word the most. Extra points if the boss says it too.quote

Jason sent these in...
quoteWait till you boss brings in an umbrella, visit the office printroom, ask someone there for a bag of paper chippings from the binding machine, then tip the paper chippings into the closed umbrella and pray for rain!

Go to the cloakroom, find your bosses coat or suit jacket, either sew the hanger to the lining of the coat/jacket or sew the ends of the arm holes up, should be about 5-10 minutes of amusment!!

I have actually done this one..!! Purchase some strong clear double sided sticky tape, tape the handset of the phone to the other part (put the tape at the mouth piece and the ear piece, less visibility) then go to another phone within viewing distance and call you boss. Possible result in a few days of work due to swollen lips but then when the boss returns you can then complain about the sickness policy and mumble things like no leadership skills and lead by example!! Hint: If you have the facility to dial a number for an outside line, do it, and use the witheld number code. This way the number cant be traced....happy sticking!!! quote

Daniel Phillips sent these in and even gave them scores, cheeky in't he.

quote1 point-
Mess with contrast until your monitor looks really bright or dark, tell people it looks fine to you.

2 points-
Speed up boss's mouse so it is uncontrollable. Tell boss he needs to cut back on the caffeine.

3 points-
Load a 20 second hair raising scream wav file on to Mac. Set wav file as the hourly chime on the system clock. Turn on chime function. Turn volume up full. Tell annoyed colleagues you need it that way.

4 points-
Tell the new guy the boss is hard of hearing but does not like to talk about it. Tell the boss the new guy is hard of hearing but does not like to talk about it. Listen to them yell at each other. (Bonus point: about the time they work it out, go and complain about the noise they are making)

4 points-
Leave an empty pistol holster on your desk, when asked about the location of the gun say "depends, which side are you on?"

2/5 points-
Swap keyboards (but not the connection) with the person who sits opposite you. Type "Come in to the light". (5 points if they claim God is talking to them though their PC).

5 points
Look at an email and then run out of office screaming "Oh my god they've found me"

Marvin Droogsma sent this in...
quoteSecretly swap monitors with your colleague opposite of you and type whatever (s)he types but with spelling mistakes.quote

Karen sent this in...
quoteSecretly hide a cotton reel under your clothing, with about a centimetre of thread showing on the outside. when someone tries to take it off for you, run quickly in any direction for as long as possible!quote

More silly stuff like this in Skiver's Corner

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