Jersey Investigation

A user of this website has sent us a 'letter of hope' that talks of survival from child abuse and how the user "one day I leapt from bed, shouting I want to live."

"Eleven years ago I broke the silence on my childhood abuse. At 26 years old I could not even fight for myself, but the thought of my children being harmed gave me the courage. I was sexually abused by two men from 4-13 years old. By 13 I was drinking heavy to block out the feelings of self hate, shame and dirtyness I felt.

"11 years on I am thriving in all aspects of life. I have three beautiful children a great job as a carer and I plan to travel the world. Please do not get me wrong my journey of healing has been the hardest achievement of my life. I can only describe it being like a 100 miles of dark tunnel, having to walk 100 miles in the dark, scared and alone, to reach the light. I have been plagued with depression, hopelessness, and sucidal thoughts.

"Then one day I leapt from bed, shouting I want to live. Once I was able to tell and was believed I gained the respect became strong and took control of my life. I am a humanitarian whom wants to heal the world and make a difference. Finally I have become the person I was destined to be.

"My abusers took the first 26 years of my life, they're not getting the next 26. I have self respect and dignity and feel no shame. I hold my head with pride that I am a survivor and in all has has taken to survive this. I can say NO in life and I can love me. To all the survivors of child abuse, I wish upon courage and strengh to find inner peace and healing on your journey.

"*One day I stood on a hill top shut my eyes, felt the wind caress me, the sun's warmth on my face. I took the deepest breathe,I was free Life in itself is beautiful. There is life after abuse"