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28 October 2014
Inside Out: Surprising Stories, Familiar Places

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   Inside Out - West Midlands: Monday 23rd October, 2002

DATING DIVORCEES

Jayne and Jonathan at the alter

Already dubbed the 'Singleton society', Britain has over two million divorcees, 16,000 of them right here in the West Midlands.

Inside Out discovers the difficulty of finding love in a nation of commitment-phobes.

Jonathan Maisey was busy raising three young children and certainly had no time to go looking for love. Old school friend Jayne Taylor felt the same. She said,

"I wasn't looking for anybody. I was living the single life. I'd given up on it I think."

The pair were soon proven wrong when they met at a school reunion. Just three months after, the couple are planning to remarry.

Fear of dating

Is it really that easy? 40 year old Aisha Ross of Wolverhampton, would have to disagree.

"Having been hurt it does take a long time for you to get back and feel confident to be dating."

Single for 10 years with three sons to raise, meeting people in the traditional bar and club environment is not that easy.

Coupledom

Man on climbing wall
Sport can provide a shared interest

So what's the alternatives? The West Midlands is simply bursting with schemes and societies designed to get all those Brian and Bridget Joneses back into coupledom.

From dance classes, days out rock climbing, and single nights at bars and clubs, there is plenty of choice.

First date

Once that elusive first date has been acquired, here's how to ensure a second date will follow.

Dating dos

  • Ask plenty of questions about them
  • Make eye contact, and keep your body language open and inviting
  • Tell friends where you are going and who with
  • Try to find common interests
  • Pick a venue where there are things to do, just in case conversation dries up
  • Keep positive, your date may not be Mr or Mrs right, but the next one just might.

Dating Don'ts

  • Never mention your ex, your divorce or the word marriage on the first date
  • Don't get drunk, order spaghetti bolognaise or garlic bread
  • Don't take your friends with you
  • Don't be tempted to lie or exaggerate the truth, no matter how tempting
  • Don't yawn, look at your watch, or make desperate glances towards the door

Singles Night

There are many ways for singles to meet. Ceroc,a form of modern jive is just one of them. Although not a dating agency, people have meet and fallen in love there as Harry Scoffield can testify.

"I met Claudette and we dance well together we get on and our friendship became love."

Dancing feet
Dancing is a great way to meet new people

Spurred on by their success, Inside Out persuaded Aisha to attend a disco for the divorced and separated. She may not have met the man of her dreams, but she has realised that singles night, as off putting as it sounds, is just a title.

Would she go again? "I think I would."

It seems for some that love is definitely in the air in the West Midlands, whilst for others that first date still remains the great unattainable.

Whether you happily coupled or still searching, one thing is apparent, the West Midlands has plenty to offer. So there's no excuse to get your glad rags on and practice those chat up lines.

"Grab your coat babe, you've pulled!"

See also ...

On the rest of the web
Divorce in the West Midlands
Divorce Online
Just Divorce
Network Singles
The Dating Game
The Internet Dating Guide

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