Yorkshire & Lincolnshire

This is Jenni's story as told to Inside Out Producer Sam Wichelow...

Saturday April 15 1989 was the day my life, as I once knew it, came to an end.

Jenni Hicks tells her story.

I had been to the same fixture between the same two teams at the same ground the year before.

To be with my husband and daughters on a beautiful spring day, once again going to see our beloved Liverpool FC hopefully win through to a Wembley final, contained all the seeds of a perfect day.

And yet, as it remains for many other families, that day is etched into my memory with pain and unspeakable loss.

I’m no longer a mum and no longer a wife.

Powerless to act

We’d been allocated three standing tickets and one seated ticket.

I would have been happier to have gone into the standing area with the girls. But they insisted I took the ticket with the seat so I was in the north stand.

Trevor and the girls went onto the Leppings Lane terrace.

Victoria Hicks - a life cut short.

As the events unfolded I knew something wasn't right and I had to look on powerless to act, not knowing what was happening to the three most important people in my life.

I don't remember the players coming out or the game kicking off.

I started asking people who were around me if they could see any girls as I was looking for my daughters and Trevor.

It was a horrible situation to find yourself in.

It was like watching a horror movie.

Unspeakable loss

The next time I saw Sarah and Vicky they were in a makeshift morgue.

Trevor and I felt we were treated like suspects and not bereaved parents.

We were asked to give statements about the journey on the day and whether we had drunk alcohol.

Hillsborough - fans escaping the crush.

We drove up to Sheffield that morning with two beautiful teenage girls in the back, laughing and joking about how we were going to win the game and planning for next week.

And we drove back just me and Trevor with an empty car.

It was indescribable really.

Within 18 months we had split up. The trauma of our loss was such that our relationship did not survive our own personal grief.

It was like I had gone back 20 years but was 20 years older.

You never get over something like that.

What I tried to learn were ways of coping.

Grief and anger

The grief turned to anger at the way the police and the media tried to blame fans.

But Lord Justice Taylor's report left no one in any doubt that it was the police operation that caused the tragedy.

Sarah Hicks - tragic loss.

I still feel angry at the dishonesty of the South Yorkshire force and I feel it was dishonourable to those who died and themselves.

But what personally remains is a deep sense of loss.

Vicki would be 35 and Sarah would have celebrated her 39th birthday five days before the 20th anniversary.

As a season ticket holder at Liverpool, my match day ritual always includes a visit to the memorial at the Shankly gates.

I touch the names of my daughters carved into the marble before taking my seat in the Kop.

A seat that probably wouldn't have been there had they and 94 others not lost their lives at Hillsborough.