Marriage of equals
There is something very modern about the marriage between Washington and Emily Roebling. Theirs was the kind of relationship that is today unremarkable, but which was then rare and brave - a partnership, not just an arrangement.
'Theirs was the kind of relationship that is today unremarkable, but which was then rare and brave - a partnership, not just an arrangement.'
They enjoyed intellectual equality; their letters reveal emotional and sexual frankness; and they offered one another strong mutual support and respect. This gave them the strength to survive the extreme hardships that came to haunt them during the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge. Together, against great odds, they achieved much. However, the bridge probably cost them their hope of a future together.
When they were married in 1865, there was little indication their lives would be difficult in any way. Emily Warren came from a wealthy, long-established East Coast family. She was well educated, with a strong sense of her own destiny. Her older brother was a General in the Union Army, and Washington Roebling was his assistant.
Emily and Washington met at a wartime ball. Neither was looking for a partner, but the mutual attraction was instant. She wrote later: 'Ordinarily, people meet each other in society and become intimate over a period of months. We fell in love straight away. I captured his heart and he mine. Mutual love and confidence in each other has defined our relationship since then.'
As for Washington, he could not have realised that he was destined to step soon, without warning, into his father's shoes, having spent his early life in the shadow of the domineering but highly gifted engineer and all-purpose visionary.
Published: 2003-09-02