In this article

Day one: getting a diagnosis Day two: mania Day three: depression

Day four: psychosis Day five: treatment

Day six: support Day seven: recovery

In previous blogs, I have told you about how bipolar has been for me, but what about life beyond bipolar?

None of us can predict what the future holds but I hope that it will be better for me than the bleak prediction of one consultant psychiatrist who told me that eventually I would kill myself, and that it was just a matter of when.

I used to hold down a full-time job whilst being busy and active outside work. Now, what once I would have done in my spare time occupies most of my time.

Years of illness made basic tasks such as washing, dressing, cooking, shopping for groceries and getting some exercise a major achievement. Simple things have to be re-learnt.

I can remember how, after months of being slowed down by severe depression, I tried to work out how to swing my arms when walking at normal speed. Three years ago, I was so ill that I could not string a proper sentence together. Now, I can write this.

This improvement is slowly and painstakingly achieved, with setbacks along the way. It is both satisfying to know that I have recovered so far, and frustrating not to have recovered more.

Months and years disappear whilst I do very little except survive. Yet somehow, I keep picking myself up and starting over, each time hoping that this time will be the time I recover long term, and each time more determined to enjoy things as they are without letting the likelihood of relapse hang over me.

I value time spent with family and friends in a way that I never did before. When I was in work, I took it for granted that I met people every day, but now I have to make an effort or I am alone, so I work on friendship and these friendships keep me going through the bleakest of times.

I try to envisage a future in which I can once again earn my own keep. In the past, I did that by holding down two jobs - one as a legal ethics adviser, the other as a Territorial Army soldier.

These days, with a relapsing remitting illness, it is difficult to know where to start with getting back on the path to work. There is, of course, the protection of the Disability Discrimination Act should I go into employment, but I would have to be fit enough to do my job with reasonable adjustments.

I could try to move towards self-employment, but the benefits system appears not to be geared up towards self-employment or intermittent work. And at the moment, I am not well enough to do more than a few hours a week, at unpredictable times.

In the meantime, I sit on some committees and study part time for a masters degree, and I make an effort to enjoy every bird and tree I see, and every moment with family and friends.