Supporting someone with a mental illness

In the UK today there are around 1.5 million carers; people who are the mainstay of practical and emotional support to someone affected by mental health problems.

Every year hundreds more become carers to a partner, family member, or friend, so it’s important that society understands mental illness.

Gathering information

There are a number of ways to practically support those with a mental health diagnosis.

As a first step, seek out professional help to gain a greater insight and understanding into the particular condition. This might include talking to:

• Psychiatrists
• Doctors
• Psychologists
• Social workers
• Psychotherapists
• Anyone who can help you to get a clearer picture of the situation

Things you might want to know about could include:

• Common symptoms of the condition and how best to handle them
• Treatment options available (talking therapies, massage, relaxation techniques)
• Medication options and common side-effects
• Existence of local support groups
• How to recognise escalating symptoms and spot warning signs
• What to do and who to contact if a medical emergency occurs

Carers are a great resource for information and knowledge about their relative's condition, but they aren't always recognised as such - and are sometimes even seen as a threat by healthcare professionals. It’s important to stress that collaboration with healthcare staff can ensure the best possible outcome for a person.

Advocacy

Anyone with a complex mental illness should receive a care programme approach (CPA) assessment which is carried out by their local NHS.

This is a process which identifies a person’s health and social needs, covering everything from how they manage their home life and employment to personal safety, rights and financial issues.

It might be helpful for you to explain and relay this information to your loved one and ensure the care programme is carried out by speaking on their behalf with the local authority.

Practical tasks

Assistance may also be needed with everyday tasks such as shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying bills or sorting out benefit payments. It's important not to do more than is necessary or you might increase the other person's feelings of inadequacy and dependency.

Emotional support

When people are mentally upset, their behaviour can be unpredictable. For example, they may:

• Become angry, frightened or aggressive
• Seem so depressed that you're afraid they will harm themselves
• Refuse to accept their behaviour is unusual
• Behave in embarrassing or unacceptable ways
• Find themselves unable to cope with day-to-day life
• Behave in a hostile manner towards you

Often people with mental health difficulties worry that people will tease or treat them differently, so it’s important that you listen to them without judgement. For example, if a loved one has hallucinations or delusions don’t make fun, criticise or argue with them. The calmer and more accepting you can be the less alarming it is for them.

Reassure them that their diagnosis doesn’t mean you feel differently about them, and that you’ll do your best to care and support them by:

• Empathic listening – try to listen to how they feel about things without offering advice or solutions. Simply being there and offering unconditional support and encouragement can be very helpful.
• Respect limitations – remember it’s not their fault that they’re feeling this way. They may not feel able to do the things that once were easy for them. Offer patience and remind them that they may not always feel like this.
• Touching – holding their hand or hugging can be very reassuring and help a person feel they’re not alone.
• Laughter/distraction – help take their mind off their problems by offering light relief with anything that shifts the focus from their illness.
• Empowerment - helping someone who's mentally distressed regain a sense of being in control of their life. One way is to try to help them think about what they want - from you, from others and from their life.

Supporting yourself

If someone you care about has been diagnosed with a mental illness, it’s natural that you might feel a host of emotions: distress, shock, vulnerability, anger, guilt. It’s important that you find ways to cope with your own feelings and concerns, so that you’re fully able to support them.

Allow yourself time away from the person you’re supporting so that you’re able to get some relief from the situation and relax. There may also be other people who can help out – relatives, friends or work colleagues. Sharing the load can really help.

It may be worth considering professional support in the form of a therapist, counsellor or support group. Talking to people who are experiencing feelings similar to your own can bring welcome relief and understanding.

Rethink, a national mental health charity, works to support both those suffering from mental illness and their carers. If you are a carer aged 16 or over you have the right to an assessment to consider your needs as well as the person you care for. A number of concessions may apply, including a carer’s allowance, council tax concessions, financial help, time off work and flexible employment options, breaks and general advice and support.

Finally, it’s important to remember that someone experiencing mental health difficulties is usually able to live a full, successful life, particularly if they’re receiving help to manage their illness. Staying positive yourself can be a great help to everyone.