Infertility - useful support contacts

It can be hard to let go of the idea of conceiving a baby naturally, and in vitro fertilisation (IVF) won't be for everyone.

Fertility treatment can also be a roller-coaster ride of emotions. But support is out there, if you know where to look.

Family and friends

Confiding in family or friends can be helpful, as long as you're comfortable sharing very personal information with your nearest and dearest. They'll also have to be supportive of fertility treatment if they're to help.

Infertility support groups

Some people prefer the anonymity of support/patient groups, as they feel they can be more honest about their true feelings. Talking things through with people who have been or are going through the same experience can be helpful.

There are some support groups specifically for people experiencing infertility, some of which have local groups and/or sub-groups specialising in particular issues.

Useful support groups

• Daisy Network (for women who've had an early menopause)
• Donor Conception Network
• Fertility Friends
• Infertility UK
• IVF World

Online forums

Internet chatrooms are increasingly popular because they allow you to be anonymous and get an instant response. However, it's important to check any advice from such sources with your clinic or consultant. Superficially, someone's situation may seem similar to yours but in reality it may be very different.

Counselling for infertility

Fertility clinics offer counselling to those undergoing assisted reproduction treatments, as IVF and related treatments are technically known, and to patients using donated sperm or eggs.

Some clinics offer unlimited sessions; others offer a certain number of free sessions, after which they have to be paid for. Some people choose to have just one or two sessions and then opt in intermittently, as and when they feel the need.

Counselling helps you to:

• talk freely and openly without being judged
• explore feelings and emotions that are troubling you
• understand any issues that are making you anxious
• find your own solutions and ways of coping
• express feelings in complete confidence

There are three broad types of counselling.

• Implications counselling
• This should be available free of charge at all licensed fertility clinics. A dedicated counsellor will talk through the treatment so you understand what it involves and how it might affect you and your family, now and in the future. This is especially important when thinking about treatments that involve donation or surrogacy, which involve complicated issues.

• Support counselling
• Emotional support may be needed before, during or after treatment. It may be preferable to talk to a counsellor who's independent of the clinic. Ask the clinic or a specialist organisation, such as the British Infertility Counselling Association, for contact details. This type of counselling can help you work through emotions felt at specific stages of treatment. These may include, for example, when the fertility problem is diagnosed, when waiting for test results, if the treatment doesn't work, or when trying to decide whether to give it another try.

• Therapeutic counselling
• Infertility can throw up all sorts of feelings and this kind of counselling can help you work through these. If it's not available at the clinic you attend, the staff should be able to suggest an independent counsellor.

Together or alone?

As infertility usually involves two people, it's better that implications counselling is undertaken together. When it comes to other types of counselling, you should discuss with your partner whether you'll benefit most from going alone or as a couple.