Coping with pregnancy advice

Endless advice

In pregnancy, you may well hear unasked-for advice and opinions on your behaviour, diet, birth and feeding choices.

Even something as simple as having a cup of coffee may attract comments. And people can make assumptions too, often based on nothing more than what happened to them or what they'd like to have happened.

Sometimes, all this can be intrusive and unsettling.

Dealing with anxiety

Having a baby isn't without its challenges, so you're bound to have some concerns and anxieties about the future and about your and your baby's health. This makes you especially vulnerable to the negative effects of other people's opinions and experiences.

How to handle advice

• Thank people for their concern - then carry on as you were.
• Keep yourself informed - use a reliable and trusted source.
• Speak your mind - if you're tired of other people's opinions, remind them that you can make up your mind.
• Mix with people you can rely on not to bother you - other parents at your antenatal class, for example
• Talk with your partner - you can reassure each other.
• See the funny side - interpret people's concern as interest rather than interference, and try to enjoy being the centre of attention.

Checking information

Look at the source of information. Check where it's come from, who's saying it and when it was said. A research paper from a respected medical journal is worth taking more seriously than a snippet from a magazine, for example.

Ask someone whose opinion you trust about what you've heard or read. Talk to your midwife at your next antenatal appointment, or if it's really bothering you, phone the clinic.

Antenatal clinics are used to handling questions from worried pregnant women - if they think you need further reassurance they'll suggest you come for an unscheduled check.