Toddlers and sleep

Almost all babies have erratic sleep patterns to begin with, which most parents expect, but in the latter half of the first year new issues can occur. Some children start waking in the night when they had previously slept through, for example. It's very common for toddlers to wake in the night, and to have difficulty in settling to sleep in the first place. Early waking is a frequent issue, too. Some families have a shared bed, with children in some or all of the night. This is a good solution, as it can mean more sleep on average, but if it’s not for you, there are other ways to cope.

Simple ways to help with settling:

• Create a simple and familiar routine for bedtime - for example, feed, bath, story, bed. Read your toddler his story in his bedroom, rather than going downstairs again
• Allow toddlers time to settle - if they make a fuss, don't go back into the room immediately, but don't leave them for so long they get very distressed
• Some toddlers settle better if you keep things quiet in the evenings, while others are better if you keep natural house noises going, as it's reassuring to know you're nearby
• Make sure your child winds down before bed, this will make the transition from lively toddler to sleeping child easier
• If your toddler keeps getting up after you've put him to bed, you need to be firm and take him back again - it may take time, but eventually he'll get the message

Dealing with waking too early

• Use thick blinds or curtains to make children's rooms darker so the morning light doesn't wake them
• Provide safe toys for your child to play with in the mornings, so he can play quietly until he hears the rest of the family is awake
• If your child's a natural early riser, you may just have to be patient. You may be able to encourage him to stay in bed without disturbing you until a certain time – obviously, he will need to know how to read a clock face, or to understand that you need him to stay in bed until the hands of the clock point at the ‘right’ numbers
• Once children start nursery or school, they tend to sleep for longer

Waking in the nigh

• Be realistic and remember everyone's sleep needs and patterns vary - some people need eight hours or more, others can manage on five or six and this creates a different picture of what 'sleeping through' means, even in one family.
• If you've always rocked, stroked or sung your child to sleep when he first goes to bed, he may find it difficult to get back to sleep on his own if he wakes in the night.
• When you go in to comfort him, keep the lights low and use a soft voice - don't encourage play (you'll probably need to do this several times).

Never seems to be tired

• A predictable daily routine can help to encourage sleep at the appropriate time.
• Don't let your toddler get overexcited before bedtime, and don't forget to have a winding-down period.
• If your child really doesn't seem tired, put him to bed but leave him toys or books to play with.
• Cut out daytime naps, especially in the afternoon, but don't force this if your toddler really needs a nap.
• Try to tire out your child with lots of enjoyable daytime physical activities.
• Move your child's bedtime back 15 minutes at a time until it suits you.

Monsters in the wardrobe

• Being frightened to go to bed or refusing to let you leave the room can be a sign of insecurity - try to think what the cause might be, such as starting nursery or hearing a row - and work out how to reduce their anxiety.
• If your child seems scared of being left alone, promise to come back and check on him every five or ten minutes until he's dropped off - he may relax knowing you'll be back.
• Never laugh at or deny your toddler's fears.
• Provide a night light if your child doesn't like the dark.
• Move around where you can still be heard for a while after your child goes to bed - sort clothes in the next room, for example.
• Play soothing background music for your child to listen to.
• Leave safe, favourite soft toys in your child's bed for company.
• Make sure your child has his favourite comforter - a dummy, cloth or toy perhaps.
• Never use your child's bedroom as a place to send him as a punishment - this can make it a frightening rather than a comfortable place.
• Suggest pleasant ideas to dream about, such as visiting the beach at the weekend.
• Give him lots of loving attention during the day so he feels safe and secure.

When nothing works

If you're despairing about your child's sleep routine (or lack of it) it might be time to get help from your health visitor or doctor. Some areas have sleep clinics and your health visitor or doctor can refer you.