Your ability to adapt and change will be tested in the coming years as your child starts the transition to adolescence and adulthood. You may find your values rejected, and your authority challenged.
Parenting expert Eileen Hayes wrote this article in February 2004. This article was last reviewed by Heather Welford in September 2008.
Physical changes will affect your child in these years as pubic hair appears. Growth spurts can leave your child feeling gangly and awkward. Your daughter's breasts will begin to develop and she'll probably begin her periods sometime between the ages of 11 and 13.
The arrival of spots can send your pre-teen into a spin as he worries about being attractive to others. Strong sexual feelings may surface and privacy will become increasingly important. Your son may be experiencing unwanted, embarrassing erections.
Over these years your child will become much more interested in the opinions and friendship of others outside the home. Your views will start to be rejected. This is a necessary part of growing up as your child becomes his own person with ideas and values separate from the family.
Your child's learning will focus on changes in thinking and awareness of social and moral values. You may notice your pre-teen is interested in talking about issues reported on the news, particularly where inequalities or hardship is the subject. Your child will want you to take their new-found views seriously.
Your word will no longer be law and you may find yourself engaged in long debates as house rules and limits are renegotiated. You'll benefit from having regular family meetings where each of you can bring up everyday issues.
Your child will be needing just over nine hours sleep each night by the time he is 13 years old.*
The information provided should be used as a guide only. Children develop at different stages, but if you're concerned, contact your doctor or health professional.
*Source: Ferber, R (1985) Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, Dorling Kindersley.
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