Coping after the birth

Life can be busy and feel pressured, too, with a new baby. All the routine tasks you need to do like preparing meals, shopping, washing, cleaning, even making a phone call, can take twice as long to do, or may not get done at all – so it’s fine to accept any help and support on offer from family and friends.

In the first few weeks, gather a support system around you. It can include:

• Your partner - while it's only women who can breastfeed, partners can share everything else. Spend time together as a new family, learning how to do things your way. New mums whose partners are not around, for whatever reason, should try to have someone they trust on hand in the first few days, and maybe longer.
• Family and friends - there will be times when your home seems overrun with visitors. Don't feel you have to play host. Sometimes people fail to strike the right balance between showing interest and outstaying their welcome, and you may need to prompt them to go if you're getting tired. Get visitors to make their own coffee and tea, for a start!
• Healthcare professionals - a midwife will visit you at home at least once or twice and more if you have problems, before handing over to a health visitor, who'll usually make at least one home visit. After that, you'll see her at the baby clinic, although you can speak to her on the phone between visits.

Your sleep needs

After the birth you'll probably find it's some time before you get a good night's sleep. Your baby needs to wake and feed throughout the night, and your body clock may be all over the place.

Not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling bad-tempered and unable to cope with simple things that wouldn't normally upset you.

Try some, or all, of the following to help you feel more rested:

• Keep your baby close by at night, so you have the minimum disturbance when you feed him.
• Relax - try to switch off and relax before you go to bed. A warm bath is a good start. A warm drink may also help. You could also try a relaxation technique - your local library or parent and baby group should have details of books, videos/DVDs or courses.
• Sleep when your baby sleeps - this is sometimes easier said than done, with visitors popping in and the housework piling up, but, if you can, forget about tasks around the house and ask a family member or trusted friend to take care of your baby while you sleep.

Feeling lonely

Having a baby means a big change in your social life. You may be enjoying the developing bond with your baby, but miss the company of friends and colleagues. It can be a great help to make new friends who are in a similar situation.

Ask your midwife and health visitor about networks, clubs and groups of parents, such as the National Childbirth Trust (which has hundreds of branches that meet up regularly for support), baby/toddler groups, breastfeeding support groups and Sure Start groups.