Being a carer Jennifer Teague Your caring responsibilities may increase as you get older because your parents are ageing or because your partner is becoming frail. You may also find you need care yourself.

In this article

Getting help Changing relationships

Carers' rights Advice and support

There are around 6 million carers in the UK, which means approximately one in six households has a carer. Many people don't identify themselves as carers, but if you look after someone who's ill, frail, disabled or unable to cope, you are one.

Carers can be responsible for a whole range of tasks, from shopping, cooking and collecting prescriptions to physical work such as bathing, dressing and lifting.

Many carers find it difficult to accept offers of help. Reasons for this include:

• Embarrassment about having someone in their home
• Not wanting to feel under obligation to anyone else
• Difficulty admitting they're unable to cope on their own
• Not being sure how other people could help

If any of this is true in your situation, try to think of small things you could ask people to do. For example, could a neighbour do a couple of odd jobs around your house? Or could a friend go shopping for you? Even if it only happens once in a while, it will be good for your morale.

Caring can also be lonely - you need friends and it's vital you look after yourself.

When you start to care for someone, the relationship between you changes

When you start to care for someone, the relationship between you changes. It can be hard to adapt, particularly if you're doing things that have traditionally fallen to the other person.

Some people find they become closer, while others resent having little time to themselves and get angry and frustrated. The person being cared for may also get depressed and angry that they're unable to do the things they could previously.

Under the Work & Families Act 2006, people who care for adults and also work have the right to request flexible working patterns. This applies whether you're caring for an adult partner, spouse, civil partner or near relative.

Near relatives include parents, parents-in-law, adult children, adopted adult children, siblings, uncles, aunts, grandparents and step-relatives.

Directgov has advice about how to apply for flexible working, which can include flexi-time, compressed hours and working from home.

Talking to other carers can be helpful. The following organisations run support groups and provide information on issues such as benefits and respite care.

Carers UK
CarersLine: 0808 808 7777
Email: info@carersuk.org
Website: www.carersuk.org

The Princess Royal Trust for Carers
0844 800 4361
Email: help@carers.org
Website: www.carers.org

This article was last medically reviewed by Dr Rob Hicks in July 2007.
First published in March 2000.