Negative thoughts James Tighe It's easy to think that you're completely at the mercy of your feelings, but in fact you're not. To some extent the way you feel is dictated by the way you think, and bad feelings are often the result of unhelpful patterns of thinking.

We all get negative thoughts and feelings from time to time. Problems with relationships, pressures at home or at work, worries about money or physical health can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, or even, in some people, to a sense of desperation and hopelessness.

Express yourself

Expressing our feelings openly promotes a sense of wellbeing and freedom from tension. It helps us to recover from hurtful experiences, and also helps other people to understand what's going on inside us.

Of course, there are times when displays of emotion aren't helpful, but hiding or holding back our feelings can cause tensions that affect our physical and mental health.

Arguments are healthy, too, as long as they don't become unpleasant. In fact, some psychologists say that a happy relationship needs a 20 per cent quota of conflict. Learning to disagree - without making each other unhappy - is an important part of any relationship. However, rage and destructive anger aren't healthy or helpful.

This article was last reviewed in September 2006.
First published in June 2000.