Reducing tension James Tighe Today's stressful lifestyles can cause tension, which is a major trigger for anger. Anger is a natural, healthy emotion when there's a valid reason for it.

In this article

Expressing anger How to deal with feelings of rage

Tackle deeper feelings of anger Reduce the tension in your life

For example, if you take a day off work to wait in for someone who never turns up, naturally you feel angry and frustrated. In general, we feel angry if another person's behaviour towards us is unkind, rude, aggressive or inconsiderate.

Anger needs to be expressed, because if it gets bottled up it can cause harm or boil over into rage, which is a very destructive emotion.

Anger should be expressed assertively, not aggressively, which means speaking in a strong, steady voice, and not shouting.

Remember that losing your temper is never a good solution. It may provide temporary relief, but later on you'll feel bad, which can lead to more anger.

• Breathe slowly and deeply.
• Try a type of yogic breathing called 'the cooling breath'. Inhale slowly through your mouth, with your tongue stuck slightly out and folded into a tube. Close your mouth and hold the breath for as long as you comfortably can. Exhale slowly through your nose. Repeat three times.
• Slow down, don't rush into words or actions you may regret.
• Go to an empty room where you can't be heard and have a good scream.
• Give vent to your feelings by punching a cushion or other soft furniture.
• Do something physical like scrubbing the floor or cleaning the car.
• Take some exercise such as running, walking, cycling or swimming, but don't do any fiercely competitive sport because this can increase feelings of aggression.

• talk to someone about the way you feel
• ask your GP for help in tackling your feelings
• if it's yourself you're angry with, think about whether you're blaming yourself unfairly
• think about your anger and whom you're really angry with
• express your feelings in writing or painting
• practise techniques to make yourself more relaxed and stress-free
• do a sport or some exercise that you enjoy

• talk about your problems
• 'escape' into books, movies or games
• give in occasionally - it's easier on your system
• ease up on criticism - don't expect too much of others or yourself
• do things you enjoy and have some fun
• tackle one thing at a time
• take a rest from being competitive

This article was last reviewed in September 2006.
First published in June 2000.