In this article

Understanding anger Recognising why you get angry

Dealing with flashpoints Resolving the issues

It's important to be aware of the positive feelings you get from anger as well as the negative ones.

By recognising the positive and negative feelings associated with your anger, it's important to find other means of concentrating on the positives ones.

Each person's positives are different, so there will be different solutions for everyone, but some strategies might include:

• Trying a non-contact competitive sport
• Learning relaxation or meditation
• Shouting and screaming in a private, quiet place
• Banging your fists into a pillow
• Going running

Any of these may help to vent your frustration and burn off any feelings you're bottling up.

However, this still leaves the problem of dealing differently with those situations that make you angry. This takes practice.

The first thing to do is list the situations that make you angry. Note down exactly what it is about them that makes you angry - it may be the immediate situation, or it could be that it represents a build-up of issues you haven't resolved.

Now ask yourself four questions about your interpretation of these situations:

1. What evidence is there to show this is accurate?
2. Is there another equally believable interpretation of what's going on here?
3. What action can I take to have some control of the situation?
4. If my best friend were in this situation, what advice would I give to them?

This won't dispel the anger for every situation, but when you're angry it can be difficult to assess a situation accurately. If a situation arises unexpectedly and you feel your temper rising, walk away and complete this exercise if you can.