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Moment of truth: It's no good, I've got to do something.
This morning the scales show I am past the 10 stone mark -
the same weight I was when I was nine months pregnant. And
as the summer holidays approach I am no nearer dragging myself
to the gym to get any exercise.
The
sight of a lithe and fit-looking Carol Vorderman grinning
on the cover of her latest detox bible (Detox For Life, Virgin
Books) in WH Smith catches my eye - then I notice the book
is on special offer and on the spur of the moment decide to
give it a go - tomorrow.
Day
1: The detox shopping trip. Having devoured the book (and
little else, honest - apart from a chocolate biscuit or three
while no one was looking) I'm ready to do a Carol.
At the supermarket checkout
I feel very strange to be unloading a trolley with no
meat, bread or cheese in it. |
| Clare
Parrack |
If
she can "drop two dress sizes without counting calories"
so can I. So out go milk, cheese, yogurt, cream, sugar, cakes,
biscuits, wheat, meat, fish, eggs, salt, caffeine and alcohol
for 28 whole days.
So
what on earth CAN I eat? Apparently I'll soon be feeling full
of beans if I fill up on, er, beans, pulses, nuts, seeds,
vegetables, fruit, grains and lots and lots of water - a whopping
two litres a day to be precise.
At
the supermarket checkout I feel very strange to be unloading
a trolley with no meat, bread or cheese in it.
Back
home the cupboards and fridge are cleared of unhealthy temptation
to make way for this fruit and nut case's brand new food choices.
Day
2: My second day with no early morning mega-mug of tea
to get me going, and I have woken up with a pounding headache.
The
book tells me that's my body's caffeine and toxin withdrawal
system working. All I know is that I feel awful. Luckily it's
Sunday so I can go back to bed for another couple of hours.
After
a third cup of lemon and ginger tea the taste is growing on
me and I start to feel a bit better.
Day
3: Exercise and exfoliation are important elements of
de-toxing - the first to get your body working and the second
because it's through the skin that the body eliminates most
of its toxins.
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| Dry
skin brushing revs up your circulation |
So
instead of staggering sleepily into the shower 20 minutes
before I'm due to leave for work I set the alarm for an hour
earlier and do 20 minutes of bends, stretches and crunches,
then scrub my skin all over with a body brush for five minutes
before getting in the shower.
Emerge
looking pink and feeling surprisingly perky despite the unaccustomed
hour, and the virtuous glow stays with me all day.
Day
4: Used to skipping breakfast too, but am also feeling
better for having fruit and wheat-free muesli before I leave
the house.
Can't
say I like rice milk much, though.
Day
5: Hummus, oatcakes and carrot crudites are now my favourite
lunch.
No
hardship there, but I am feeling bored with entirely veg-based
evening meals, however delicious La Vorderman claims they
are.
Day
6: Woke up from a vivid dream of munching my way through
a mountain of Brie and biscuits washed down with a nice claret
- obviously suffering badly from cheese and wine withdrawal!
But otherwise feeling good.
Drinking
what seems like two gallons of water a day has meant lots
more trips to the loo than usual but this seems to be settling
down.
And
all that unaccustomed fruit and fibre did give me diarrhoea
for the first few days but my body seems to have adjusted
to that, too, thank goodness.
This
one says sheep and goat's cheese and milk are allowed,
and so is fish. Hallelujah! |
| Clare
Parrack |
And
after a couple of outbreaks of spots my skin is definitely
looking clearer, and I'm keeping up the exercise routine,
much to my other half's disbelief.
Day
7: I know weight loss is not the main object of the exercise
but can't resist temptation to jump on scales after a week
of self-sacrifice.
Not
a good idea. Have lost only a measly pound. But tell myself
it's how you feel that counts, and I am feeling more
energetic.
Day
8: Stumble on another detox advice book as I wander round
town on Saturday, and this one says sheep and goat's cheese
and milk are allowed, and so is fish. Hallelujah!
Goodbye
Carol Vorderman, hello Jane Scrivener (author of Detox Yourself,
Piatkus Books).
Rush
home to tuck into salmon with watercress and roasted vegetables
with chevre blanc. Now that's what I call a proper detox meal.
I
have learned to love brown rice (well, stomach it, anyway)
but the strict non-dairy regime has been just too tough for
me.
Days 9-13: Feeling far more satisfied on the new detox
diet, and keeping up the early morning exercise and body brushing
regime.
Only
another pound lost, according to the bathroom scales, but
I can see my body shape is changing for the better and my
skin is softer.
And hooray, the cellulite on my thighs is definitely less
noticeable.
Day
14: The biggest test so far is a relaxing mini-break with
a girlfriend to a resort hotel. Will I be able to keep up
the detox away from home?
She's disappointed that I won't be whooping it up in the bar
but after I tell her how good I'm feeling decides to join
me for a 'detox special' weekend instead.
Supper
on arrival is a buffet-style meal so fill up on a mixed salad
starter and pick the veggie special with loads of fresh veg.
Washing it all down with sparkling mineral water leaves no
room left for dessert - luckily!
Day
15: Breakfast buffet offers loads of fresh fruit and I've
remembered to take my herbal tea bags.
A
day of shopping till we drop could spell disaster - can I
resist the coffee, tea, and cakes I usually indulge in on
a day out to keep my energy up?.
But
we find a cafe that sells a delicious fresh raspberry and
banana smoothie that, along with a packet of nuts and dried
fruit, keeps hunger at bay till dinner time. Phew!
It'll be a long time till
I eat brown rice again - even if I'm told it is the most
effective power cleanser for the gut!
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| Clare
Parrack |
We
decide to dine out at a Mexican restaurant where I am pleased
to find a detox friendly menu (so long as you avoid the meat
and cheese options). I
plump for corn taco salad with refried beans and avocado dip.
Resisting
the Mexican beer is tougher - especially as we have to wait
an hour for our table - but I manage it.
Day
16: Another fruity breakfast, a massage in the beauty
salon, and then a relaxing sauna and swim before heading for
home. Arrive feeling very good having resisted the temptation
of rich food and drink!
Days
17-20: Getting bored with the detox regime and recipes
now, though I am definitely feeling much better for it. Adding
fish and goat's cheese has made the daily menu easier for
me to swallow and my favourite breakfast is now sheep's milk
yogurt with organic honey and pistachios - nice memories of
Greek holidays!
Day
21: A friend's birthday party tonight and I know I'll
have a drink so decide to call it a day with the detox.
Celebrate
with a tasty steak and salad for supper - heaven!
But
the effects of filling your body with good things do
linger - I feel guilty about having more than a couple of
glasses of wine and am delighted to wake up with no hangover
next day.
And what do you know, I find myself sticking to herbal tea
rather than my traditional brew, too.
Weight lost? All of three pounds - but this isn't a diet,
I didn't feel hungry (though a little deprived of my fave
tastes on occasion) and I definitely feel better on the inside
even if I've not shed as much as I'd hoped.
But
it'll be a long time till I eat brown rice again - even if
I'm told it is the most effective power cleanser for the gut!
Post
script: Two weeks on I had lost another six pounds by
sticking to a high-protein, low carbohydrate diet.
My
craving for bread and sweet things has all but vanished (apart
from pre-menstrual chocolate craving) and my weekly alcohol
consumption has dropped dramatically - I only drink at weekends
now and am keeping up the two litres a day of water.
So
would I recommend a detox? It's definitely a good kick-start
to a healthier way of living. Whether I keep up the good work
remains to be seen!
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