Reviewer's Rating 1 out of 5   User Rating 3 out of 5
The Covenant (2006)
12aContains moderate horror and violence

The Lost Boys meets The OC in The Covenant, a stylised Goth fantasy for teens into wicca. Steven Strait (Sky High) stars as the leader of the Sons of Ipswich. They're a coven of high school warlocks in modern day Massachusetts, who are faced with a dark threat when a new kid arrives at their boarding school. Director Renny Harlin (Exorcist: The Beginning) helms like a bat out of hell, and obviously doesn't know a pentagram from a mammogram.

"Harry Potter can kiss my ass!" yells one of the gang, hammering home the fact that this hip flick wants to be the antidote to the twee world of Hogwarts. Look away J.K. Rowling fans, this is magic for moody teens on daddy's expense account, its quartet of tousled-haired kids strutting around like a Goth boy band. Adding to their teen angst is the fact that their powers are addictive, and slowly crippling them. But that doesn't stop the Ipswich crew from using their magic to make bullies puke or discover what colour a girl's knickers are by blowing her mini-skirt up (naturally she's not wearing any)...

"ALL DIRE-LOGUE AND PLOT EXPOSITION"

Diverting attention from the laugh out loud stupidities of the screenplay (all dire-logue and plot exposition), Harlin chucks in lots of lifestyle porn (Convertibles! Motorbikes! Mansions!), but can't get his CGI geeks to deliver the goods: the final reel warlock battle looks more like a playground scrap. Truckloads of dry ice provide what this movie considers 'atmosphere' but Harry Potter's specs are more likely to be fogged up by the homoerotic pool shower scenes.

End Credits

Director: Renny Harlin

Writer: JS Cardone

Stars: Steven Strait, Toby Hemingway, Chace Crawford, Sebastian Stan

Genre: Horror

Length: 97 minutes

Cinema: 08 December 2006

Country: USA

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