BBC - Movies -news article - High Noon

		Life's A Beach Busty babes, hunks in Speedos, golden Californian beaches and no sign whatsoever of David Hasselhoff: yes, cult 90s TV show Baywatch is heading to a multiplex near you. Variety reports that DreamWorks have paid out a seven-figure sum for the rights to bring the story of California's Beach Patrol to the big screen a mere fifteen years after it made its debut on American TV. It's not yet certain who'll be headlining the cast of red spandex-suited lifeguards, but apparently TV series star David Hasselhoff has not been asked to return (he's too busy warbling to tone deaf Germans presumably). Whether or not any of the show's curvy female stars - including Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra and Yasmine Bleeth - will be tempted in for a dip remains to be seen. But no studio suit would be silly enough to make Baywatch babeless, so expect some silicone enhanced totty - er, fine up and coming actresses - to be announced very soon.

		Direct Another Day Director Martin Campbell, the man who gave audiences their first taste of Brosnan's James Bond in Goldeneye could be stepping behind the camera for the 21st instalment in the Secret Service franchise. Campbell, who's currently shooting The Legend Of Zorro with Antonio Banderas, is in negotiations to direct the upcoming Bond flick scheduled for a 2006 release. Meanwhile, the battle to find a new 007 continues after Brosnan's four-film contract came to an end. Colin Farrell recently responded to Brosnan's suggestion that he'd be ideal for the role by saying (and we paraphrase): "There's no f*** way I'm going to play that suave British t, for f*** sake!"

		Stop Thief! Pierce Brosnan may have hung up his Walther PPK for good, but he's carving a niche for himself as Hollywood's heist man. Not content with snatching jewels with Salma Hayek in upcoming thriller After The Sunset, the middle-aged heartthrob has signed up for a belated sequel to The Thomas Crown Affair. Dubbed The Topkapi Affair, it's a story about the theft of a jewelled dagger from an Istanbul museum. According to Brosnan's producing partner, Beau St Clair, it's going to have a distinctly post-9/11 sensibility. "New York during The Crown Affair was thriving," she told Variety. "Now [Crown's] values, all the things he does, have been affected [by 9 /11]. We want to take the character further, crack him open, put him in an international backdrop." Sounds painful.

		Alarm Call The true story of a veteran punk group who asked a boy band to lip-synch their latest single has caught the attention of Hollywood. Ageing Welsh rockers The Alarm broke back into the charts this year after hiring fresh-faced teenyboppers The Wayriders to lip-synch the song in a music video. The single 45 RPM debuted at Number 28, the band's first top 30 hit since 1989. Now Shrek producer John Williams is planning to adapt the pranksters' story. Don't expect any animated Hollywood malarkey though; the low budget pic is being shot in Wales with Alarm frontman Mike Peters praying that Rhys Ifans will step up for the lead role.

		And There's More... Simpsons' creator Matt Groening has confirmed that he wants to take the yellow-skinned residents of Springfield onto the big screen. But Homer and Co won't be appearing any time soon as Groening is committed to taking things slowly. So slowly that The Simpsons: The Movie isn't expected until 2008. D'oh! X-Men 2's Shawn Ashmore (Iceman) is inked in to star in 3 Needles, a serious look at the AIDS pandemic. Set in South Africa, China and North America it's a Traffic style tale of the crisis, with Ashmore playing an American porn star who fakes his blood tests in order to keep working. Lucy Liu and Sarah Polley are already on board. And finally, some hilariously desperate excuses from the people responsible for Alfie. According to The Internet movie Database Wayne Llewellyn, head of distribution at Paramount is blaming the film's poor box office on the US election race: "It could be the mood of the country right now. It seems to be the result of the election. Maybe they didn't want to see a guy that slept around." And there we were foolishly thinking it was just because the movie was rubbish...