To London, where I've been invited to provide DVD elements for a special edition of "Once Upon a Time in the West".

Now this is a signal honour, since I had nothing to do with Sergio Leone's mega-art-western, and among the other interviewees are Bernardo Bertolucci and Dario Argento (who wrote the original story), and Claudia Cardinale and Gabriele Ferzetti, who played principal roles in the film.

At the same time, I am not a bad interview subject regarding "Once Upon a Time in the West". I was 14 when it came out, saw the studio-mangled version in England and the version originale in Paris, and became obsessed with the film. I went into a late night screening armed with a cassette recorder, taped the whole thing, and typed the speeches out on sheets of A4.

Which was very instructive. "Once Upon a Time..." is almost three hours long, and runs to a total of 15 pages of dialogue. And much of that (Fonda: "Who are you?" Bronson: "Just a man." Fonda: "An ancient race") we could have done without. John Ford said, "A picture is best when it is long on action, and short on dialogue." Leone proved him right in three extraordinary cowboy films (the "Dollars" trilogy), followed by this - his most pretentious, most visually-stunning work.

We shoot my little contribution in a Soho club which has been transformed, with little effort, into a western saloon set. I rabbit about the movie there, then proceed to a sound suite on Wardour Street, to record snippets of commentary about the scenes which were deleted from the US and UK versions of the film.

My babble will be interspersed with that of the above dignitaries, and other fanatics such as Christopher Frayling, who (literally) wrote the book about Leone, resulting - in theory - in a three-hour multi-commentary about the film.

All very gratifying and exciting - the more so because they actually PAY ME to do this! No kidding - and it is pretty decent dosh. So decent, in fact, that I don't even hit 'em up for my train fare. Muchas gracias!

What a contrast with my recent experience over "Repo Man" and "Walker", whose worldwide distributor, UIP, wasn't interested in any DVD elements at all, except for a commentary, and refused to pay for that! "We're gonna release 'em vanilla-style!" snarled the gold-toothed UIP henchman to my pal Steven Davies when we asked him for some pasta to provide making-of documentaries and commentaries.

What puzzles me is that UIP - an American multinational which dominates European film distribution - also own the world rights to "Once Upon a Time in the West".

I ask the producer how the same company can be so stingy in regard to certain projects, yet so painstaking and generous regarding others.

"Oh, this has nothing to do with UIP," says my boss-for-the-day. "This is all being done by Paramount in LA."

A studio which actually appreciates the value of its inventory? What next - maybe a multinational distributor who's genuinely "fanatical about film".

No danger of less pig-headedness at Vivendi Universal (Paramount's partner in UIP), which has just hired captain of industry Paul Fribourg - chief executive of "America's second-largest integrated pork producer" - as a director of the board.

Be afraid, Babe. Be very afraid.

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