Welcome to our comprehensive guide to the latest rental video titles.
"What Critics Want". It's a title for a movie that may never get made. If it was, it certainly wouldn't be like "What Women Want" (Warner Bros, rated 12). Why? Well, our George Perry thought that it was "a ludicrous comedy", but he admitted that both Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt gave it "a classiness that lifts it from mere farce".
What would please Michael Thomson? Clearly not "Centre Stage" (Columbia TriStar, rated 12). A "fat cliché" and a "yawn of a film" is his opinion and so two stars it gets, but how come you lot have awarded it four stars? Perhaps you might have enjoyed the film, but you clearly don't seem to know what critics want.
It's ok, you shouldn't give up all hope on learning what turns a movie hack on (once you have, we'll organise a singles night...). Take another of this week's rental titles, "The Original Kings of Comedy" (Paramount, rated 15). While Michael saw fit to give it four stars, one of you has awarded it five. Now by all means flatter us, but don't be too keen with your stars!
Still, sometimes it's hard not to just get carried away, and a good few of you have given "Requiem for a Dream" (Momentum, rated 18), your five-star flowers. With Ben Falk raving that it boasts "staggering performances from all the players", it looks like you could yet find out what critics want.
Also new out rent this week.
"Velocity of Gary" (Columbia TriStar). Salma Hayek and Ethan Hawke star in this drama revolving around a bisexual love traingle.
"Dark Prince - The Legend of Dracula" (High Fliers, rated 18). Rudolf Martin, Peter Weller, and Jane March star in this new adaptation of the classic legend.
"At Any Cost" (Paramount, rated 18). Glenn Quinn, Cyia Batten, and James Franco star in this drama about a rock band trying to make it in LA.
"Cora Unashamed" (Paramount, rated PG). Regina Taylor and Cherry Jones star in this TV movie drama.
Somehow, and with a lot of booze, Santa and Bob De Niro were involved in last week's rental titles.
